Behind the Mask

I hide behind a carefully constructed façade of a self-achieving, ambitious individual, when inside I am really scared of achieving my goals because I might fail. I hide behind a care-fully constructed façade of a self-confident, my-own-best-friend person, when inside I am only a lonely child. I hide behind the façade of an intelligent and enthusiastic entity, when inside I am really a simple and pessimistic little boy.

I am afraid of rejection, and strive for the recognition of others and the acceptance of my peers. I am afraid of being alone, and desperately long for someone to recognize my shortcomings and still accept me as I am. I am afraid of the world discovering my past, because I have done things that I am ashamed of and attempt to forget it and leave it as my history.

I am tired of hiding myself behind the mask of a self-achieving, ambitious individual; a self-confident, my-own-best-friend person; and an intelligent, enthusiastic entity. I want to be accepted as I am-a lonely child, scared of achieving my goals because I may fail; a simple and pessimistic little boy.

I want the world to recognize me as I am and accept my personality. Instead I hide my personality behind a mask in fear that I will be rejected.

I am afraid of trusting anyone, because they may betray my trust and leave the hurting, aching hulk behind. I am self-conscious about my appearance because I have constructed a boundary through the comfort of food, and no longer like how I look.

Why is the world so hateful and prejudiced? There must be someone who will accept the ruins of what I once was, and help me recover from the pain of my past. Is it you?