What to Do with A Big Lottery Win

A Fun Top Ten Lists of Things To Do...

Yeah, yeah, we’ve all had the lottery or bingo fantasy. When the Super 7 lottery jacked up to 34 million dollars I finally wrote a list, both comic and serious. I figured by the time I got to Stettler and had the money in my hands I wouldn’t be ABLE to think rationally. Staring at those matching numbers would change my life, not to mention give me a sizable problem breathing and being able to think in business or, at least logical terms, would be a huge step.

As of this writing, the Super 7 has 20 million dollars up for grabs. So, I’m back to dreaming and I thought I’d tell you my spending ideas! Maybe yours are better, I dunno. When you win:or I do:we’ll have to find out won’t we!

Top Ten Giggles:

(DON’T USE THIS WHEN YOU WIN! It’s MY speech!)

10. Is the number of years a good surgeon will erase via “an Age-ectomy!”

9. Are the numbers of lords we can pay to leap for us!!

8. Are the numbers of credit cards we can now kiss the totals off!

7. Are the times I’ll ask Larry “: wanna kiss a multi-millionaire?” before it gets old.

6.Is the percent and something rate we won’t have to pay on our mortgage!

5. Is the number of dollars we’re going to quit spending on cheap apple wine “?can you say Dom Perignon?

4. Is the amount of years we STILL have to study for our bachelor degrees no matter how many millions we flippin’ well won!

3. Are the number of words I wished I could have thought to say from the character Janice on Friends when we won :”Ohhh! Myyyy! Godddd!”

2. Is the amount of tickets to perform on Whose Line Is It Anyway we wish we could buy!!

1. Is the number of seconds it’s going to take Larry to tell his boss he can hire someone else to work 8 to 5!

Supplement: because even WE don’t do a top eleven list! (Insert your own Spinal Tap joke here!)

11. Now we can truly be labelled “eccentric” rather than the poor version of “odd.”

Although it’s comic some of this was serious.

We’ll apply our finances to creating a life we can work around our educations with. Our educations will eventually give us the careers we’ve always wanted. Larry will eventually be famous as the “Animation Man.” I’ll be able to have the budget I need to make the films I want, and, yes, I’ve already made two projects. I have plans to educate others with the help of my finances:and Larry plans to work at walking again:hopefully a source of inspiration for others in his situation. Look for the book about that adventure at Chapters so we can get on Oprah in six months!!

What exactly do most people do with lottery money they win? That depends on how regularly you read the lottery paper published by The Western Canada Lottery Foundation. I have seen one too many people saying annoying things like, “Oh, nothing. I’ll put it in the bank and keep working!!” UGH! Give someone else the cash, bub! WE have IDEAS!

Of course some people’s ideas are just plain stupid:like “party with all my friends.” How much does it cost to party for crying out loud?

In the mean time I’m looking at gorgeous houses and world cruises:logical:practical:business-like -yup! That’s me!

If you win:let us know at The Voice! We’ll ask you for your top ten list and then fold like a book when you tell us you didn’t read this article or do your list!

Sigh! Good luck if you’re buying tickets!

Laura Seymour first published herself, at age 8. She has since gone on to publish a cookbook for the medical condition of Candida. She is working toward her B.A. (Psyc).

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