Dear Sandra

February 5, 2003

Dear Sandra,
I am a twenty year-old virgin. I am comfortable with this, but I am nervous about how a girl will react when I tell her. I have always had dates, but none have ever gone “that” far. How might I clear the air about this topic when the time comes?

Nervous Nice Guy.

Dear Nervous Nice Guy,

So many people are under the impression that sex is something you have to do. Being a virgin at 20 is not an abnormality, it just means that you have deep values about sexuality. I think a lot of women would be impressed to hear a man admit that he is a virgin. Believe me, women are not impressed by how many other women you’ve scored with, only your buddies care about that. We care more about how willing you are to do the job right.

Remember, women are more emotionally sensitive than men. Telling a woman that you are a virgin will only make her feel thrilled that you have chosen her to be your first. A woman is unlikely to care that you are a virgin and may even respect you for not being promiscuous and choosing to wait for the right person. Being open and honest is the only way to go. Let her know that this is your first time and you would like to take it slow. Don’t be afraid to ask her what she wants and to tell her what you want. The fun part about sex is that you get to keep practicing! Married people report better sex than singles, because they have had years to perfect their lovemaking and both partners are in tune with what the other wants and needs.

Men seem to think that if they have been with a lot of women that automatically makes them professionals in the bedroom. Not so. Just because a lot of women have been in a man’s bed does not mean that they have left satisfied.



This column is for entertainment only. Sandra is not a professional counsellor, but is an AU student who would like to give personal advice about school and life to her peers. Please forward your questions to Sandra care of

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