Dear Sandra

February 12, 2003

Dear Sandra,

I am in a dilemma. I love two men. One is my ex-boyfriend, who desperately wants to come back to me; the other is my current boyfriend. Both are great men, but I feel more spiritually connected to my ex. I am unable to make a decision. Do you have any tips?

Confused in Weyburn

Dear Confused,

Choosing between two wonderful men to share your life with is heart wrenching. The guilt you are facing by breaking one of their hearts must be tearing you up inside, but you could stand the chance of losing both of them if you don’t make a decision soon.

We all have idealized images of how love should be. Which man most closely fits your image of the perfect relationship?

My “tips” would be to go with your heart on this one. You say that you are more spiritually connected to your ex and that obviously indicates to me that he is your preference. Remind yourself of why you separated in the first place. Was it his choice or yours? Was your relationship good?

If only we could predict the outcome of our decisions to make sure the decision we made was the right one. Unfortunately life is full of difficult decisions and this is one you need to make on your own. You have not provided enough information about these men, besides the fact they are both great, for me to really direct you. I wish you all the best.



This column is for entertainment only. Sandra is not a professional counsellor, but is an AU student who would like to give personal advice about school and life to her peers. Please forward your questions to Sandra care of