Dear Sandra

Dear Sandra,

I have fallen in love with a married man. Problem is, he keeps telling me he can’t leave his wife because of their children (ages 5 and 9). How can I convince him that I will be a good mother to his children and an excellent wife to him?

Hopelessly in Love in Ontario

Dear Hopelessly,

I pondered how to answer this question for days and I wondered if I would have answered it differently had I not been married. No, even if I wasn’t married, I’d still address this question the same way: Are you freaking crazy???

It is never appropriate to date a married man because:

1. He’s cheating on her; he’ll cheat on you.
2. You only think you are seeing his true personality.
3. He’s a big liar and is ethically flawed.
4. You’ll be the dreaded other woman.
5. He’ll have a plethora of excuses, but no excuse for why he’s married to another woman is ever actually correct. He’s married to someone else because HE WANTS TO BE!

As a wife and a mother myself, I will not give you advice on how to convince another woman’s man that you will be a better wife and mother. Put yourself in that woman’s shoes. She probably has no idea that you even exist and assumes that her marriage is ok; would you want that to be you in a few years? What about the children? Do you really think that if you break up their parent’s marriage that they will have any respect or kindness for you? The children, along with this man’s family and friends, are always going to see you as the home wrecker. There are millions of single men out there; leave this one alone and go find one who is unattached.

This column is for entertainment only. Sandra is not a professional counsellor, but is an AU student who would like to give personal advice about school and life to her peers. Please forward your questions to Sandra care of