Dear Sandra

Dear Sandra,

My fiancé wants to have our wedding at a lake resort and have the ceremony at a nearby botanical gardens, with about 75 guests. My parents are pressuring us to have the wedding in my home town, at the church and complete with 500 guests. I am torn between both pleasing my fiancé and my parents. I can see both their points of views, but don’t know how to get them to compromise. Help me before I call the whole thing off and run to Vegas!!

Saskatchewan Bride

Dear Saskatchewan Bride,

Weddings never really turn out to be “yours”, do they? You don’t mention what YOU want! It’s your wedding so it really should be a little of what you both want, not what your parents want, even though they are probably paying for it.

Option #1 – Do what you want. You only get married once (usually) and you should make it yours. Your wedding day is supposed to be one of the most memorable days in your life so take charge and tell your parents YOU TWO will choose the location, date and time because it’s YOUR day. Give your parents other “decisions” such as catering, entertainment (if you really trust them and don’t mind doing the polka), or decorations. Ask them to work with you and support your decision.

Option #2 – Give in to your parents and have them plan the whole wedding and then spend the rest of your life regretting that you never got married your way. THEN, when your daughter gets married you can guilt her into the dream wedding of your choosing, years later the cycle will continue as she does the same to your granddaughter.

Option #3 – Run away to Vegas. Use the money you had allotted for your wedding to have a really awesome honeymoon and put a down payment on a house.

Ok, 2 & 3 aren’t sounding as great as Option #1 are they? If you go with #2 you start a horrible chain of unhappiness and if you go with #3 you won’t get to show off the best dress you’ve ever worn and comb out a hairdo that takes at least 2 to 3 hours to put in AND take out. Option #1 is my suggestion.



This column is for entertainment only. Sandra is not a professional counsellor, but is an AU student who would like to give personal advice about school and life to her peers. Please forward your questions to Sandra care of