Primetime Update

Week of December 3, 2003

Missed your favourite shows? No problem. Primetime update gives you the rundown.

Survivor: Pearl Islands

In the last edition of Primetime Update, we lost Christa because the women were still too stupid to get rid of Jon and Burton. This edition is all inclusive, covering a whole 3 hours of Survivor, from the 13th episode last Thursday and the 2 hour finale on Sunday. If you watched the reunion show, good for you, I haven’t yet.

On episode 13, the tribe returns from tribal council and Sandra, suspecting that she’ll be next, plans to sabotage the tribe by hiding their knives, machetes, etc. However, the boys plan to get rid of Darrah, while the third member of their alliance, Lill, thought it unfair. She knew if they turned on Darrah, they’d turn on her too.

The reward challenge consisted of many pieces of prior challenges such as untying knots, digging in the sand for keys, getting out of a prison, shooting plates with a slingshot, and completing a word puzzle. The reward: spending a night camping out in the ruins of Panama City, complete with a cultural feast. The winner: Burton, who chooses to take Jon with him to Panama City where he is also given a brand new GMC Envoy XUV. The three women are left with the chance (which many doubt they’ll take) to plot and scheme against the boys. The decision: to get rid of Burton.

When Jon and Burton return from their excursion, the women play dumb and act as thought they didn’t even talk to one another. Both Lill and Sandra pretend to go along with the plan to get rid of Darrah.

Immunity, which will decide whether Jon or Burton is sent packing, requires each tribe member to use their canteen to fill a tube with water high enough to reach a float to which a key is attached. The key releases a plank which gets the survivor to the next tube. Five retrieved keys and lowered planks allow flag retrieval. Returning to the beginning with the flag secures immunity. The challenge goes neck in neck with Darrah maintaining a small lead over Burton, but since he can’t catch up to her, Darrah wins immunity, leaving Burton available to vote out. And so, we again say goodbye to Burton Roberts.

The 14th episode, and season Finale, begins with a breakfast brought to the island by host Jeff Probst. Each of the remaining four Tribe mates receive a letter from home, and of course Lill threw herself a crying party, which overshadowed Darrah, Sandra, and Jon’s excitement about their own letters.

With only four remaining, Jon opens his mouth about what he really thinks, which is that they have to get rid of Lill because she’s the most liked by the Jury. Lill turns around and attempts to get rid of Darrah, as she’s the biggest physical threat (which is ridiculous b/c there are only two challenges left and they likely won’t require too much effort).

Immunity is put up for grabs, not only by the final four, but the jury is also given the chance to take it away from the remaining competitors. Multiple choice and true/false questions are presented which relate to pirate survival, folklore, and knowledge. The first to five wins immunity and all five members of the jury compete as one brain. AND since five brains are better than one, the jury steals immunity and all of the final four are vulnerable.

Since no one wants Darrah to have the final immunity (and the choice of who to take to the final two), Lill, Jon, and Sandra get rid of the 22 year old mortician from Mississippi.

On returning to camp from tribal council, the remaining three get mail requiring them to get up early and be at a shipwreck by dawn. They take the extinguished torches of survivors past and place them aboard the shipwreck one by one (since Osten quit the game, he is not honored in the ceremony.) The trio then take up muskets and fire on the wreckage, which burns down in a blaze of glory.

The final immunity challenge has been the same type in every season of Survivor I’ve ever seen; a battle to outlast one’s enemies by sitting or standing or perching, or whatever. This season, we’re introduced to pirate torture. The castaways are each placed on a small raft which they are only allowed to touch with hands and feet. Contact with one’s bum or knees forfeits immunity. The tribe member to endure the most wins 1) immunity, 2) a place in the final two, and 3) the decision of who to compete against in the final tribal council.

After fifteen minutes Jon and Sandra become obviously uncomfortable, and Lill, thanks to aerobics, is just fine. Sandra gives in right away and topples over, but Jon perseveres for over two hours before the old hag kicked his butt.

Do you remember what I said when Lill was voted out the first time? That it was about damn time the loyal little puppy was shot in the head? Well her loyalty and compassion strike again as she chooses to keep Sandra, out of sympathy for their similarities as mother and wife, and get rid of Jon, who would be easy to beat because of people’s dislike for the guy. Good bye Jon. Then evolves the most boring ending Survivor has ever had.

The couple spends a relaxing night back at camp, before the deliberations are set in motion. The final tribal council brings out the true character of each finalist. Sandra began and ended the game in honesty. Whether or not it was what people wanted to hear, Sandra insisted on telling it how she believed it to be. She admitted to her lies, and highlighted her good moves. Lill, on the other hand, is a total hypocrite. She said one thing, then something that completely refuted the first thing. The opening statement she made included her confession of her pride in that she played the game according to who she is as a person. However, in her final remark she regretted bringing her Boy Scout oath and uniform into the game. Is one’s job not a part of who one is as a person? You can’t go into a game as one person and be proud of that person after you’ve changed who you are through lying and backstabbing and then regretting (on national TV) that you’d brought that first person with you. In the end, pity and respect are NOT given to Lill. Instead, Sandra’s honesty and integrity are rewarded with the title of sole survivor of Pearl Islands by a six to one vote, along with a new GMC Envoy XUV, and a “small check for a million bucks.”

Survivor airs on Thursdays at 9:00pm Alberta time on Global (channel 7 in Calgary)

The Bachelor

For the last two weeks we watched Trista and Ryan plan the wedding of a lifetime, and spend time with the friends celebrating themselves as individuals as well as their relationship. This week, the couple is to be married in a multi-million dollar ceremony, complete with helicopters trying to sneak a peak. There’s not much to say about it, since it was your basic wedding, but it comes down to the fact that I cried. I’m a sap for romance, and I cried watching two people I’ve never even met before in my life take their vows. It’s proof to what TV does to a person – it makes them live in another reality, someone else’s reality. I guess that’s why it’s so relaxing.

If there are any other shows you want updates on, or any comments you wish to make, please email me at!