Missed your favourite shows? No problem. Primetime update gives you the rundown.

Friends

So last week, in “The One With the Birth Mother” Monica and Chandler got approved to adopt the knocked up chick’s baby (even though they admitted who they really are), Ross wore a woman’s pink sweater on a date, and Joey lost another girl through his weird eating habits.

This week in “The One Where Chandler Gets Caught”, the show is centered on Monica and Chandler buying a house in Westchester (outside of the city). First, when Chandler gets into a car with the realtor to go see the house, Rachel and Phoebe suspect he’s cheating so they follow him. Later they reveal to Ross and Joey that Chandler spent 45 minutes alone in a house with a strange blonde woman, and all decide to talk to Monica. When the reality of the situation is revealed, the neglected foursome denies the idea, and then mourns it. The realtor calls, and Chandler reveals that their offer on the house the loved was rejected. The now happy foursome apologizes and leaves Monica and Chandler alone, where he tells her that they got the house; he just didn’t want to say so in front of Ross, Rachel, Joey and Phoebe. The episode ends with the couple presenting fabulous (although predictable) gifts to their friends, before telling them the good news and taking off.

I’m really starting to see where the show will end, and although it will be sad to say goodbye to “friends” I’ve had for more than 10 years, it will be nice to see everyone succeed and conclude their lives.

Next week’s episode is entitled “The One Where the Stripper Cries”.

Friends airs on Thursdays at 8:00pm Alberta Time, on Global (channel 7 in Calgary)

Survivor: ALL STARS

OK. I checked the Survivor Website today, highly doubting that there would be anything on ALL STARS until Feb. 1/04, when the premiere airs (Sunday, after the Super bowl). However, to my extreme excitement (ask my mom, I phoned her at work) the website is actually up!

So, this season we have three initial teams of six castaways each, as follows:

CHAPERA
Alicia Calaway – 35 years old, 9th place in Australian Outback (1st Juror)
Amber Brkich – 25 years old, 6th place in Australian Outback (4th Juror)
Rob Cesternino – 25 years old, 3rd place in Amazon
Rob Mariano – 28 years old, 10th place in Marquesas
Susan Hawk – 42 years old, 4th place in Pulau Tiga (Big Mouth)
Tom Buchanan – 48 years old, 4th place in Africa (Pig farmer)

SABOGA
Ethan Zohn – 30 years old, SOLE SURVIVOR of Africa (soccer player)
Jenna Lewis – 26 years old, 8th place in Pulau Tiga (2nd Juror)
Jerri Manthey – 33 years old, 8th place in Australian Outback (2nd Juror)
Rudy Boesch – 76 years old, 3rd place in Pulau Tiga (retired navy man)
Rupert Boneham – 40 years old, 8th place in Pearl Islands (2nd Juror)
Tina Wesson – 42 years old, SOLE SURVIVOR of Australian Outback

MOGO MOGO
Colby Donaldson – 29 years old, 2nd place in Australian Outback
Jenna Morasca – 22 years old, SOLE SURVIVOR of Amazon
Lex Van Den Berghe – 40 years old, 3rd place in Africa
Kathy Vavrick-O’Brien – 50 years old, 3rd place in Marquesas
Richard Hatch – 42 years old, SOLE SURVIVOR of Pulau Tiga (big naked gay guy)
Shii Ann Huang – 30 years old, 10th place in Thailand

For the sake of saving time and space, I’m not going to divulge my opinions about these groups of people. We’ll save the real criticism for when the game starts.

Survivor will air on Thursdays at 9:00pm Alberta Time, on Global (channel 7 in Calgary)
SEASON PREMIERE – SUNDAY, FEB. 1, IMMEDIATELY FOLLOWING THE SUPERBOWL.

The Bachelorette

The Season Premiere was Wednesday night, and as most premieres in the bachelor/bachelorette shows are, it was a complete waste of time. First we meet the 25 guys Meredith has a chance of falling in love with (hand picked for her, as she says) and in less than an hour 10 are gone. 15 are left, and one with a white rose. Let’s meet the 15 guys we’ll be spending the next few weeks getting to know.

Harold (29) is a pro hockey player from Rock Island, IL.
Todd (36) is a restaurant/brewery owner from San Francisco, CA.
Marcus (26) is a personal trainer from Los Angeles, CA.
Brad (29) is in pharmaceutical sales in Grand Rapids, MI.
Ryan M (30) is a financial advisor from Santa Barbara, CA.
Ian (29) is in equity research sales in NYC.
Chad (31) is in pharmaceutical sales in Buffalo, NY.
Lanny (26) is a stallion and breeding manager in Aubrey, TX.
Robert (32) is in alliance development in El Segundo, CA.
Sean (31) is a CPA (?) in Wall, NJ.
Ryan R (29) is in sales/marketing in San Diego, CA.
Damon (28) is an arena football player in Cardiff, CA.
Eliot (25) is an options trader from San Francisco, CA.
Mathew (28) is in pharmaceutical sales in Friendswood, TX.
Rick (28) is an entrepreneur from San Diego, CA.

Rick also received a white rose, instead of red, to signify that he will go on the first independent date with Meredith.

As for the ten guys who got the boot, they were all a bunch of babies. They met the girl once and there were comments such as “it’ll take a little time to get over it.” Men! The jerks don’t handle rejection well at all, do they?

The Bachelorette airs on Wednesdays at 10:00pm Alberta Time

The Apprentice

First: special thanks to Fiona Ott who suggested this show, to which I have officially become addicted. This show entitles 16 people (yes, 8 of each sex) to vie for the chance to become president of one of Donald Trump’s many companies. Each week the two teams, Versacorp and Protégé Corporation (men and women respectively) will compete against each other in business type challenges or projects, and the losing team will go to the boardroom with Donald Trump and his senior associates, where someone must be fired. This person is selected by Donald Trump from a specific group of three employees. The first person is the project manager, who is only held partially responsible. The second and third people are chosen by the project manager. Let’s meet the employees:

“¢ Jason Curtis, 23, from Detroit, built a real estate development firm from the ground up. He now rents 39 units to low income families.
“¢ Dr. David Gould, New York City, graduated medical school as well as achieved an MBA. He works as a health care venture capitalist.
“¢ Bowie Hogg, Dallas, Texas, has a business degree and works in express delivery sales.
“¢ Kwame Jackson, 29, has an MBA (Masters of Business Administration) from Harvard Business School. He is an investment manager at a Wall Street firm.
“¢ Troy McClain, Boise Idaho, spent his youth taking care of his mom and disabled little sister. He now owns his own linen company.
“¢ Bill Rancic, 32, Chicago, founded the cigar of the month club in a studio apartment and now makes multimillions.
“¢ Sam Solovey co-founded and is the director of business development for an internet company.
“¢ Nick Warnock, Los Angeles, is a full commission photocopier salesman.
“¢ Heidi Bressier, Philadelphia, is senior account executive of one of the world’s largest telecom companies.
“¢ Katrina Campins, 23, is in the top 3% of realtors nationwide.
“¢ Jessie Conners, 21, with only a high school diploma, runs a marketing firm and sells real estate.
“¢ Kristi Frank, Santa Monica, owns her own restaurant as well as investment properties.
“¢ Amy (Amelia) Henry, Austin Texas, lost millions worth of stock option in a dot com bust. She has an MBA and works in the hi-tech industry.
“¢ Tammy Lee, Seattle, is a top stock broker for a firm on Wall Street.
“¢ Omarosa Manigault-Stallworth, grew up in the projects, and became a Ph.D Candidate and a political consultant. Four years ago she worked in the Whitehouse, for the President.
“¢ Erika Vetrini, New York City, learned business from a Pizzeria her parents owned. She is now a marketing Manager for a large cosmetics company.

The first episode is quick and painless (at least for me, and most women). The group is introduced and taken to their suite. They meet Donald Trump and his associates, and are told a little about the process.

Later, they meet Trump at the New York Stock Exchange early the next morning for their first task of business. When they arrive, they’re told they’re to set up a lemonade stand, with 250 dollars to start. The team with the most cash at the end of the day wins. Simple. So simple in fact, the women make more than four times the principle amount, and the guys merely double it. What was their problem? Maybe Sam; trying to sell one glass for a thousand dollars, or Dr. David throwing his blubber in the face of passers-by.

As a reward, the women receive a tour of Donald Trump’s apartment. The men, however, go to the board room. Where team leader Troy holds Sam and Dr. David partially responsible. In the end it is decided Dr. David would make a better assistant than leader, and he is fired.

During the second episode, the teams are asked to design a marketing campaign for the Marquis Jet Card, which rich people can use to rent private jets by the hour. They have 48 hours and all the resources at Deutsch Marketing to accomplish this task.

The women get off to a quick start by meeting with the management at Marquis Jet to find out what kind of campaign they want. Later, they take photographs that are snappy and quick, easy to see, and sexy (they literally resemble parts of the human anatomy).

The men, lead by Jason, decide not to meet with management for the sake of saving time, and to go with an elegant and almost pompous representation throughout their campaign. They work so “hard” that Sam (who I thought was a little weasel from the get go) falls asleep at his desk, and then curls up to nap on the floor.

When judgment comes, from the management of Deutsch marketing, the women win for their enthusiasm and spunk. Their reward, a trip to Boston for a fancy dinner; in none other than the Marquis Jet.

The men, AGAIN, head to the board room, where leader Jason holds Sam (for falling asleep) and Nick (for no reason at all) partially responsible. Trump immediately dismisses Nick from the chopping block, and it is narrowed down to Jason and Sam. Although I personally would have fired Sam, Trump chooses to eliminate Jason, as it was his decision NOT to meet with the management at Marquis Jet that cost Versacorp the competition. And so we way good-bye to the 23 year old guy from Detroit who built a real estate development firm to serve low income families.

The Apprentice airs on Wednesday evenings at 9:00 pm (I think) Alberta Time

If there are any other shows you want updates on, or any comments you wish to make, please email me at abaldwin@shaw.ca!