Primetime Update

Week of February 20, 2004

Missed your favourite shows? No problem. Primetime update gives you the rundown.


Last week Mike and Phoebe got married, outside, in the snow, in front of Central Perk.

This week Phoebe returns from a romantic honeymoon, and receives a request from Joey to help him learn to speak French, which apparently she does fluently. Did any of you know that? I sure didn’t, but wow.

Anyway, while they’re practicing, Chandler and Monica bring in Erika, the mother of their yet unborn child. Later in Joey’s apartment, Phoebe gives up the lessons, since her pupil can’t even imitate syllables. And even later, in Monica and Chandler’s apartment, they learn that Erika slept with two guys when she conceived. One guy was a high school football player, who went to university on a scholarship. The other:is in prison for killing his father with a shovel. However, they later find out that Erika didn’t actually have intercourse with the prison guy.

During Joey’s audition, Phoebe explains to the director that Joey is “a little retarded.” Although they reject Joey for the part, they save his confidence and self-esteem by complimenting his attempt (although more of a failure) to speak French.

In the show closer, Phoebe and Joey are rewriting Joey’s resume during which he has to prove that he can drink a gallon of milk in ten seconds.

Ross gives Rachel crap for being half an hour late, to which she reveals that her father had a heart attack. Ross and Rachel decide to travel out to Long Island together. While at the hospital, the previously intimidated Ross, takes his chance with Rachel’s highly sedated father. He soon wakes up, and gives Ross crap for tugging on his catheter. Back at Rachel’s childhood home, Ross comforts Rachel and when one thing leads to another, Ross is dodging her kisses. He eventually leaves, scared that they’d ruin things. The next day, Rachel gives him the cold shoulder and they fight.

Wonderfully enough, Rachel’s dad intrudes on their argument. When they get back to NYC, they talk about the times that they did get intimate, and agree that it would be better if they made a pact not to have sex. In the end, their connection is just too much and we’re left with a weird intuition about the next episode, entitled “The One With Princess Consuela.”

Friends airs on Thursdays at 9:00pm Alberta Time, on Global (channel 7 in Calgary)

Survivor – ALL STARS

Last week Jenna left the show, and we were left with tears in our eyes when we learned of the real life loss of her mother.

This week, it seems the castaways underestimated the amount of water they’d be getting. In the heat of the moment, or rather the chill of the moment, Boston Rob and Amber get a little snuggly, but is this for warmth, or comfort? On Saboga, Rupert morns the loss of their beech and their shelter:while Jerri gives herself a little pity party: Richard catches three eels, and Mogo Mogo feasts.

Reward Challenge: Besides the major sexual innuendoes between Richard and Sue, each tribe member gets a station from which they play “Go Fish.” By sheer luck, and Jenna’s stupidity in showing her stuff to everyone, Chapera wins a whole set of toileting stuff:as well as the third key to their mystery box (which contains whiskey and rice). Rob and Amber bathe each other.

Saboga, after the rebuilding of their faulty shelter, enjoy a better sleep and a bit of food thanks to Rupert’s ability to catch fish.

The immunity challenge is a test of communication. It’s a puzzle search, with 3 tribe members blindfolded, and one guide giving directions to the puzzle pieces. The guides are Alicia, Jerri, and Richard. After a lot of people banging into each other, Mogo Mogo is the last team to find all of their pieces. In a brilliant act of teamwork and unity, Saboga is the first to finish their puzzle, followed by Mogo Mogo, sending Chapera to tribal council.

Back on Chapera’s camp, the arguments are both for and against voting for Rob Cesternino. Alicia, however, worries about what’s really going on, as she hasn’t seen any plotting and scheming. In another twist, the Robs team up and plan to get rid of Alicia, then Sue, however, what really gets me is that Boston Rob is so arrogant the he truly believes that he’s in control of the entire situation:and he hasn’t yet chosen whether the one to go will be Rob C, Sue, or Alicia.

In the end, with at least four votes for Rob C, and one for Alicia, Rob Cesternino is the fourth person to leave Survivor: All Stars.

Next Week: Tribes have to build a raft; giving Rupert a chance for redemption, Tom makes an ass of himself after having lots to drink, and the first BIG TWIST of the game.


Alicia Calaway – 35 years old, 9th place in Australian Outback (1st Juror)
Amber Brkich – 25 years old, 6th place in Australian Outback (4th Juror)
Rob Cesternino – 25 years old, 3rd place in Amazon GONE 4TH
Rob Mariano – 28 years old, 10th place in Marquesas (Boston Rob)
Susan Hawk – 42 years old, 4th place in Pulau Tiga (Big Mouth)
Tom Buchanan – 48 years old, 4th place in Africa (Pig farmer)

Ethan Zohn – 30 years old, SOLE SURVIVOR of Africa (soccer player)
Jenna Lewis – 26 years old, 8th place in Pulau Tiga (2nd Juror)
Jerri Manthey – 33 years old, 8th place in Australian Outback (2nd Juror)
Rudy Boesch – 76 years old, 3rd place in Pulau Tiga (retired navy man) GONE 2ND
Rupert Boneham – 40 years old, 8th place in Pearl Islands (2nd Juror)
Tina Wesson – 42 years old, SOLE SURVIVOR of Australian Outback GONE 1ST

Colby Donaldson – 29 years old, 2nd place in Australian Outback
Jenna Morasca – 22 years old, SOLE SURVIVOR of Amazon GONE 3RD
Lex Van Den Berghe – 40 years old, 3rd place in Africa
Kathy Vavrick-O’Brien – 50 years old, 3rd place in Marquesas
Richard Hatch – 42 years old, SOLE SURVIVOR of Pulau Tiga (big naked gay guy)
Shii Ann Huang – 30 years old, 10th place in Thailand

Survivor airs on Thursdays at 9:00pm Alberta Time, on Global (channel 7 in Calgary)

The Bachelorette

This week we were supposed to see Meredith’s intimate overnight dates where the guys start to express their real feelings. However, I couldn’t watch it. My VCR sure got a talking to though. The website informs me that Meredith offered roses to Mathew and Ian, sending Chad home. My vote goes to Matt, since I see Ian as a complete weirdo. PS. Matt looks a lot like a blonde and skinny Bob Guinea (from last season).

I did catch the end of the “The Men Tell All,” which aired on Thursday, February 19, 2004, at 8pm. Highlights include:

“¢ Lanny defends his mom’s intensity involving parenting and religion
“¢ Meredith kissed a lot of guys (clips included); the best clip is Brad’s attempt to suck her face off
“¢ Chad asks Meredith some really private questions about what his inadequacies were
“¢ Summary of the two guys that Meredith has left in her journey; Matt and Ian.

Next week: Meredith takes Ian and Matt home to meet her family and then she hands out her final rose. Will he propose? Will she accept? Watch the 2 Hour Season Finale on Wednesday, February 25th.

The Bachelorette airs on Wednesdays at 10:00pm Alberta Time

The Apprentice

The Apprentice (Thursday, February 12, 2004, 10:00 pm)

Last week, Jesse got the boot, because she took too much crap from Omarosa without standing up for herself.

Right off the bat, Protégé must select a member from Versacorp to join their team. Amy is selected to switch (much to sweetheart Nick’s distaste) making the playing field equal with five on each team. The first task is to choose, renovate and rent out an apartment. The team that rents the suite for the most money wins. Before they even leave the meeting place, however, Omarosa is hit in the head by a small falling piece of plaster, and she seems to pout.

Nick and Katrina are chosen as the project managers, who are to view the apartments and decide which one they would like to renovate. Nick overhears Katrina tell her team that she wants the apartment on 3rd street, so he goes forward wanting exactly what she wants, which pisses her off. In the end it comes to a coin toss, which Nick wins and takes the apartment Katrina really wanted.

In the middle of Protégé’s efforts, Omarosa calls a meeting about what has to be done to the apartment. The other teammates criticize the uselessness of having a meeting when they could be working. In the midst of renovations, Heidi gets a phone call telling her that her mom has been diagnosed with stage one colon cancer. Everyone sympathizes with her, understanding that she’s got some tough decisions to make.

Later, Omarosa complains about a major headache, which restricts her from working, however has lots of energy to play basketball on the street.

On Versacorp, Katrina brings in a general contractor to do the kitchen and bathroom. Tammy keeps running off into left field, in the completely opposite direction as the rest of the team. She gets in the way. And she talks down to everyone. I wish she’d go home.

In the end, both renovations look absolutely wonderful, I’d move in for sure. Versacorp gets a lease for $1650 per month for an increase of 10%. At the last minute, Protégé gets a lease for $1525, for a 27% increase. Katrina turns around, however, and accuses Troy of playing unethically (tail-ending her, and letting the choice be settled by a coin) to which Trump crushes her hopes that everything should be ethical. Tammy blurts out that the team was “duped” (likely meaning screwed or manhandled).

As a reward for winning the task, Protégé is given a trip to a country suite (Trump’s home in Bedford) for a picnic and Trump gives Heidi the chance to go home and be with her mother. Despite the emotion, Heidi’s choice is to stay in the competition.

Going into the boardroom, my bet, or more, my hope, is on Tammy’s demise. Trump points out Tammy’s obvious opposition and disloyalty to her team to which she argues that Troy maneuvered his way into the better piece of realty. Katrina holds both Tammy and Bill partially responsible for the team’s loss.

Katrina is criticized because she should have taken control of the whole situation, Bill is criticized for being a bad negotiator, and TAMMY is FIRED for being OBNOXIOUS and disloyal.

Next week: Selling bottled water, Nick and Amy do a little dancing, and the best boardroom ever.

The Apprentice airs on Wednesday evenings at 10:00 pm Alberta Time

If there are any other shows you want updates on, or any comments you wish to make, please email me at!