Dear Barb – Updates!

Dear Readers, this week and next week I will include updates from previous columns. Thank you to the readers who took the time to update me on their situations.

Dear Barb: I am a recently divorced mother of a 12-year-old daughter. I work full time and attend university part time. I have recently begun dating a very nice gentleman. However my daughter does not like my boyfriend and does not want him coming into our home. Consequently, the only time I can see him is when my daughter visits her father. My question is, how can I get my daughter to accept my boyfriend as part of our lives?

Name withheld
The Voice 2004-07-14 (v12 i27 –

Hi Barb:

I just wanted to let you know how I made out with your advice. As you suggested, I did not rush the relationship between my daughter and my boyfriend. We started out going bowling on Saturday mornings and at first things were very tense as they hardly spoke to each other. After about three weeks they started kidding around, then placing bets on who would get the highest score. Things progressed nicely, although not without some incidents, which we were able to successfully work through. I’m now happy to say we are planning on moving in together within the next few months, and I’m not sure who is happier — me or my daughter.

Thanks again Barb.

Dear Barb: I just graduated, but have not been able to find a job. Therefore, I have no choice but to move back in with my parents. I feel really bad about this, as most of my friends seem to be moving forward with their lives. Any suggestions on how to make this move easier for my parents and myself?

Jamie in North Bay
The Voice 2004-06-23 (v12 i25 –

Dear Barb:

I just wanted to give you an update on how I made out. Moving back in with my parents did not go well. I felt too stifled by them. They wanted to treat me the same as they had before I went away to college. They made me feel like I was 15 years old again. No matter how much I pleaded with them, they just could not see me as an adult. Fortunately, I was able to find a job and move into my own place. As you said, for this situation to work both sides would have to be willing to put forth the effort. I guess my parents are just not ready to let me grow up. Thanks anyway Barb, it was worth a try.


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