From Where I Sit – Back to the Drawing Board

What do you do when you have an important decision to make? Do you contact JoJo’s psychic alliance for advice from a clairvoyant? Do you talk to the ones nearest and dearest to you because it will undoubtedly impact them as well? Do you research trends and probabilities? Do you weigh pros and cons, risks and benefits? Or do you fly by the seat of your pants, go with your instinct? Do you hope for an iron-clad guarantee or say ‘que sera sera’? Do you pray for divine guidance or want the facts, just the facts, ma’am?

I find myself on the horns of a dilemma. I’ve got an important decision to make and have begun doubting my usual process of weighing options and listening to my gut. My track record for decision-making isn’t particularly bad. Or exceptionally brilliant for that matter. I don’t allow myself regrets because I believe, in each case, I did the best I could with the information and life experience I had at the time. I see no benefit to beating myself up or second-guessing past choices. I do, however, try to learn from them.

So what’s different this time? For one thing, I’m not getting any younger. That little news flash is both freeing and paralyzing. If my life were to end prematurely, I’d like to think I went out doing what I love. On the other hand, shouldn’t I get serious about amassing some serious coin for a more secure, albeit perhaps more miserable old age? Why does it seem doing what you love and earning big money are mutually exclusive?

Why did an admittedly spiritual career counsellor advise me to make the leap based on a foundation of faith? Why is my new favourite saying “choose authenticity not approval”? Why does it seem that since I picked a course of action not one, not two, but half a dozen possible career choices all cropped up at once?

I’m reluctant to talk openly with friends or family because I need to make my own decision based on my own heart and head. I don’t want to look for consensus or a majority vote. Maybe what I could do is enlist their honest opinions on both my finest qualities and biggest shortcomings. Maybe I’m missing some glaring truth.

It seems the simple act of asking you (or is it me) all these rhetorical questions has opened up a new possibility. I can choose to pursue with my current career coach my initial decision because it feels the most authentic. If the process of research and analysis proves the idea unrealistic or unviable, I can fall back on plan B. I needn’t slam the door on the second option.

Hey, hold on, this sounds a lot like having your cake and eating it too. This splitting my focus and energy hasn’t really worked so well for me in the past. Now what? It’s back to the drawing board, from where I sit.