This just in: Jerry Seinfeld was spotted carrying Suri’s diaper bag. Suri is, of course, TomKat’s daughter. (And if you don’t know who TomKat is, sorry, I just can’t help you.)

John Travolta is sporting a new short haircut.

Rumours had been swirling all week that Brad and Angelina would show up at the Super Bowl. They didn’t.

Britney Spears is still in hospital for another 14 days. They won’t let her use her cellphone so She’s forced to use the pay phone on her floor.

Well, I don’t know about you, but now my life is complete.

I forced myself to watch an entire episode of ETalk??Canada’s #1 source for everything entertainment??and now I know everything. Well, except how people are going to mark the upcoming first anniversary of Anna Nicole Smith’s death. But I’m sure someone will tell us. Stay tuned.

I don’t mean to bash ETalk, our homegrown Canadian Ben Mulroney launching pad. No, wait, I do. But by no means are they the only perpetrators of this inane, superfluous, useless, titillating, speculative hype. TMZ ?covers the stories the others won’t.? Entertainment Tonight (ET) bills itself as ?the most watched entertainment news program in the world.?

People and US magazines are the only-slightly-classier versions of the print equivalent of this trash?National Enquirer, Star, Globe. Every major newspaper features regular gossip and entertainment columns in addition to the real front page stories about celebrity drug charges, rehab relapses, jail sentences, and divorce details.

I never watch this crap or buy these publications. But sometimes when I’m not quick enough with the remote I do hear the snippets of all the exclusive, juicy details to come. I’m sick to death of the hype and the hyperbole. I’m sick of the teaser clips and promised ?full details.? I don’t care about the Daily Dish, Star Sightings, Hit or Miss, bump watch, e-sightings, or any other regular features. I don’t care which store, restaurant, or clinic someone walked out of. Or who they were wearing.

My life could have marched along without knowing ?the real story behind Matthew and Kate’s chemistry on Fool’s Gold.? Spoiler alert: Kate says ?I don’t know. I wish I knew. Everyone asks.?

Or a Victoria’s Secret model’s answer to the question ?What do football and sexy lingerie have in common?? Tights.

Or that the $800 ticket price for Miley Cyrus’s Hannah Montana concert is under attack as being too high. Ya think?

God help us. It’s a free country. People can do, watch, buy, and download pretty much anything they want. I question the insatiable appetite for this drivel. If magazines and tabloid newspapers weren’t selling, publishers would fold. If TV ratings fell, sponsors would leave and shows would be cancelled. But That’s not the case. There’s a proliferation of this stuff that does nothing to enrich, expand, or enlighten our own lives. If anything, it creates a deficit, from where I sit.