This column originally appeared October 30, 2009, in issue 1741.
I am a professional woman in my mid-thirties. I am single but would like to find the right guy and settle down and have a family. Recently I began dating a really nice man who is divorced and has two children. We have been seeing each other for a couple of months and get along great. Because he works in a factory my family and friends are cautioning me about becoming too involved with him.
They say we are from different worlds and won’t be able to find any common interests. I’m not sure this will be a problem. I believe if two people love each other anything is possible. Am I being too idealistic in wanting to take a chance with this guy?
Hi, Maria. I agree that if two people love each other anything is possible, but you have to be prepared for the roadblocks.
Being a professional woman has probably exposed you to many more experiences than a factory worker, simply by the nature of your job. A large part of being a successful professional involves being able to socialize with people from diverse backgrounds, which may include CEOs of large companies, as well as middle- and entry-level employees.
As a person who has worked in a factory your boyfriend mostly likely has not had these same experiences, at least not within his employment situation. That’s not to say he would not be able to conduct himself well in these situations, but he may not feel as comfortable as you do. Fortunately these are all things that can be discussed and worked out between the two of you.
As for common interests I’m not sure that where you work would have a great bearing on your interests outside of work. For example, hiking is an activity that can be enjoyed by everyone?as well as bowling, skiing, curling, etc. Together you can find and create activities that you both enjoy.
Just because someone works in a factory does not mean they are not intelligent or well read. Many people with university degrees find themselves working in factories for a variety of reasons.
If you have found someone that you have a connection with, I say go for it! Your friends may be making comments based on generalities; however, each person is unique in their own right, as every relationship is unique and dependent on the two people involved.
Take your time and enjoy each other. Thanks for writing, Maria.
Email your questions to email@example.com. Some submissions may be edited for length or to protect confidentiality; your real name and location will never be printed. This column is for entertainment only. The author is not a professional counsellor and this column is not intended to take the place of professional advice.