Dear Barb:

Dear Barb:

My girlfriend and I have been dating for six months. I’m having a problem with the way she dresses. She wears low cut tops and very tight clothes. I know this is the style but I think she’s gone too far. I feel very uncomfortable with the attention she is drawing to herself when we are out together. She seems to love it. Do I have a right to say anything to her about this, or should I just keep my mouth shut?
Please advise, Chris.

Hey Chris:

Well I’m wondering if your girlfriend dressed this way when you met her and if that is what attracted you to her. If this is the case, I’m not sure it would be appropriate to ask her to change now, as you were aware of her dressing this way when you met her. Usually people dress in a revealing manner because they like the attention they get from the oppose sex. If she did not dress this way when you met her, then I can understand you being upset, as this is not the person you began dating. Perhaps if she had dressed this way, you would not have been attracted to her and asked her out. Either way, I think you should share your feelings with her, but I’m not sure that you can expect her to change. You may have to try to overlook this and accept it as part of who she is. If this is not an option for you, it may be time to move on, as this could become a bone of contention in your relationship.
Thanks for your question Chris.

Dear Barb:

I am a single guy working full time and taking courses at AU. I’m having a hard time meeting women. I go out to the bars with my buddies, but I’m not comfortable meeting women there. It just doesn’t feel right to me. I’ve thought about online dating, but I’m still a little apprehensive. It seems to me that people on these dating sites are desperate and I don’t want to appear that way. How does a guy go about meeting a girl?
Don

Hi Don:

Good question! I’m sure you are not the only guy who doesn’t want to meet someone in a bar as it is probably not the best place. On the other hand, there are a lot of couples who have met in bars and are happily married. Aside from all the usual ways of meeting people, through friends, clubs, and of course just chance meetings, online dating seems to be a popular choice. Nevertheless, when online dating you have to be careful that you put your profile on a reputable site. When you do connect with someone, choose to meet in a coffee shop where you can talk and get to know each other. The atmosphere in a coffee shop is more favourable to getting to know someone than a bar is, and of course alcohol won’t be a factor. Online dating sites are not seen as a desperate approach, rather it is just another option. Give it a try, what have you got to lose?
And good luck!

Email your questions to voice@voicemagazine.org. Some submissions may be edited for length or to protect confidentiality; your real name and location will never be printed. This column is for entertainment only. The author is not a professional counsellor and this column is not intended to take the place of professional advice.

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