Dear Barb

Dear Barb:

I am in my early twenties and the youngest of three kids. My parents are great and have always been there for all of their kids. Recently I discovered that on Saturday nights they go to different friends’ homes and they all smoke marijuana. I was shocked when my cousin told me about this. Maybe I’m a prude, but I can’t believe my parents are doing this. Not only is it illegal, but not a healthy thing to do. My parents rarely even drink. I want to say something to them as I really don’t think they should be doing this.
Not sure how to approach them!
Emma

Hi Emma:

Your parents are adults and what they choose to do in their spare time is really not your concern. You said they are good parents and have always been there for you and your siblings, so obviously they are conducting their lives in an acceptable and productive way. You will find there are a lot of people around your parent’s age that are smoking pot. Remember that this is the Woodstock generation who grew up smoking weed. I agree with your concern about the illegal aspect, but this also is their choice. You certainly have a right to discuss your feelings with your parents, but be prepared, as they most likely will not stop smoking pot just because you feel they should. You are fortunate to have had good parents who provided you and your siblings with a decent and happy life.
Thanks for your question, Emma.

Dear Barb:

My brother is driving my husband crazy! He comes over to our house while we are at work, eats all our food, and makes a mess of the house. My husband is furious and he wants me to do something about it. I love my brother and I know he’s having a hard time right now and has no money. Once my brother finds a job I know things will improve for him and he will be have money to buy his own groceries, etc. I really don’t want to kick a guy when he’s down. Dazed and confused about what to do, Holly.

Hi Holly:

I can understand both sides of this tough situation. As you know your brother is in a difficult place right now, but he still has to have respect for other people’s property. He should not be going into your home and making a mess. Perhaps you could invite him for dinner a couple of times a week and explain to him that you and your husband would prefer he come over when you are home, that way you could share a meal and have a visit. He may be very receptive to this arrangement as he probably also needs some emotional support. Hope this helps your confusion.
Thanks, Holly.

Email your questions to voice@voicemagazine.org. Some submissions may be edited for length or to protect confidentiality; your real name and location will never be printed. This column is for entertainment only. The author is not a professional counsellor and this column is not intended to take the place of professional advice.

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