Dear Barb – Relationships Gone to the Dogs

Dear Barb:

Let me start out by saying I have two large dogs and I am an animal lover, however I also believe that pets have their place. I have a friend who recently got a puppy. Initially he asked if he could bring the dog to my house to show her to me. I agreed, thinking this was going to be a one-time thing.

That was six months ago and the dog is growing like crazy and is around fifty pounds now and every time Jeff comes over he brings the dog with him. The dog is a typical puppy, jumping on the furniture and chewing stuff and of course having accidents on my CARPET! I never bring my dogs to his house, or to any of my friend’s home. I don’t believe in bringing dogs to friend’s homes. How can I stop Steve from bringing his dog without causing problems between us?

Hey Eric:

Many people believe if they are welcome somewhere, their dogs should be as well. Perhaps you could initiate a discussion about pet etiquette. Mention that you don’t bring your dogs to friend’s homes as they are more comfortable in their own environment. At this point your friend will most likely share his feelings about this topic. Casually mention that it gets pretty wild with the three dogs running around your house. I suspect your friend will pick up on what you are trying to say. If the next time he comes over he brings his dog, then you are going to have to tell him outright that you would prefer he not bring his dog to your home, but that you and your dogs would be happy to meet him and his dogs at an off leash park where the dogs could run around and have fun together.

Great question Eric.

Dear Barb:

A very good friend of mine has been dating his girlfriend for approximately three months. I don’t know her very well, but I recently found out she is cheating on my friend. I feel really uncomfortable when I am around these two. I don’t know whether I should tell my friend that his girlfriend is cheating or try to ignore it. I value his friendship and I don’t like him being made a fool of like this. What is the right thing to do?
Perplexed, Michelle.

Hey Michelle:

You are obviously in an awkward position. If you tell your friend, it could jeopardize your relationship with him and if you don’t and he finds out that you knew, it could also jeopardize your relationship. You have to do what feels right for you. Follow your heart. If you were in this situation, would you want to be told? Either way, be prepared for the outcome.

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