Dear Barb – Privacy and Libido

Dear Barb:

I read your column a few weeks back from Matt who deactivated his face book account. I can relate, as I’ve been considering doing the same thing. Every time I begin dating a new girl and we become Facebook friends, she goes through my pictures and asks me about all my previous girlfriends. I really don’t want to discuss this with someone I just started dating. I feel like my whole life is an open book. Also if I meet a new girl and decide not to put her picture on my face book, she gets angry, because all my previous girlfriends pictures are on. It’s a vicious circle! Although I do like being on Facebook so I can keep up with my friends activities, I would like to remove my pictures. Would it be weird to have a Facebook page without pictures?

Adam P.

Hey Adam:

Not at all. That’s a great idea. Begin with a clean slate and if you do decide to put pictures back on Facebook, be selective and make sure they are pictures you would be proud to show anyone. You probably know how to remove your pictures, but if you don’t here’s a recap, go to your Account settings and select “download your facebook data.” From there you can select what information or photos you want to remove, thus they will not be viewable on Facebook anymore and you will still be able to keep them on your device.

Dear Barb:

I have been married to my wife for three years. We get along great, but our intimate life is suffering, as my wife is not interested in having sex anymore. I have been trying to talk to her about what is wrong but she says it’s nothing, just that she’s tired or has to get up early or whatever. I am not happy about this and don’t know what to do? I don’t think she is having an affair, as there is nothing wrong between us. Any advice?

Doug in Calgary

Hi Doug:

Hm, are you sure there is no underlying stress between the two of you? Are you still connected? Do you treat her as you did when you were first married? Do you spend time talking with her and resolving conflicts? Do you show her respect and help with household chores? How about your lovemaking, are you considering her needs? Unfortunately it’s easy to get into a rut and start taking someone for granted. Marriage requires a lot of work from both parties; otherwise it can go sour pretty quickly. If everything is good, perhaps your wife has something physical going on with her. Is she on medication, many types of prescription drugs can affect libido, as can fluctuations in hormone levels. Possibly a visit to her doctor may rule out many of these issues. Ultimately, your wife may just have a lower sex drive than you. If this is the case, you will have to work together to reach a compromise. Share your needs and negotiate a compromise. Remember quality not quantity is most important.

Email your questions to voice@voicemagazine.org. Some submissions may be edited for length or to protect confidentiality; your real name and location will never be printed. This column is for entertainment only. The author is not a professional counsellor and this column is not intended to take the place of professional advice.

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