Dear Barb – Cuddles & Religion

Dear Barb:

I have been married for two years. My husband and I are very happy for the most part; however I have noticed a change in him recently. He used to like to cuddle on the sofa while we were watching TV and now he sits by himself in a chair. Also when we go to bed we used to spoon and now he doesn’t want to do that either. I have brought it up to him in a joking manner and he just laughs, but doesn’t offer an explanation. I don’t know whether I should be worried or just accept that this as the way he is!

Hey Nicole:

You need to make sure everything is okay with your husband, which means you are going to have to have a serious talk with him. If he assures you that all is fine with him and your relationship, then it may simply be that you require more affection than your husband. As a result you need to come to a compromise. Possibly you both could agree to spoon for a few minutes before going to sleep and perhaps occasionally cuddle together on the sofa when you are watching a movie. This may be enough for you both to feel close and connected. Your husband may be emulating the example he saw at home while growing up, perhaps his parents were not very demonstrative. It will take some time for you both to find your comfort level in marriage. Best of luck Nicole.

Dear Barb:

I am in my early twenties and recently moved out of my parent’s home. My upbringing was very religious and I had no problem following my family’s example while I was at home. Now that I am away from home I have been attending a few nondenominational places of worship. I am enjoying the sense of freedom I feel while attending these Churches. The problem is that my family does not approve! They are making me feel guilty for not continuing their religious practices. I am not joining a cult or anything weird like that, these are Christian Churches but are not affiliated with any specific religion. How can I get my family to understand that I am an adult and I need to do what feels right for me?
Looking forward to your advice!

Hi Scott:

I can’t give you any better advice than what you said in the last statement of your letter. You are an adult and need to do what feels right for you. Discuss your thoughts and feelings with your parents, and then let it be. Don’t bring it up again. If they attempt to discuss it, reiterate that you are comfortable with the Church you are attending and you would rather not get into this with them. If you refuse to engage in conversation they will eventually have to let this go. Great question, Scott!

Email your questions to Some submissions may be edited for length or to protect confidentiality; your real name and location will never be printed. This column is for entertainment only. The author is not a professional counsellor and this column is not intended to take the place of professional advice.

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