Dear Barb – Christmas With(out) the Kids

Dear Barb:

My boyfriend and I have been dating for six months. He is divorced with two young children who live with their mother. His ex is very bitter, so my boyfriend hardly sees his children. Recently, his ex began to date someone and will be going away with him for Christmas. She wants my boyfriend to have the kids for the Christmas week. I was looking forward to spending Christmas alone with my boyfriend and now we have to have his kids. I don’t think this is fair! His ex only lets him see the kids when it is convenient for her. When I told my boyfriend that he should tell her to make other arrangements, he became angry with me. Why would he be mad at me, it’s not my fault, I just want to spend our first Christmas alone together. Sad Sara

Hi Sara:

You are dating a man with young children, therefore it would be best for you to get used to taking a back seat to his children. Also since he doesn’t see his children very often, he is probably looking forward to having them for Christmas. If you are hoping to have a future with this man, then you need to embrace his children as it will strengthen your bond with him. Don’t make him choose between you and his children as you may not like the outcome.
Thanks for writing Sara.

Dear Barb:

My husband and I are preparing to have a New Year’s Eve party at our home this year, as going out is just too expensive with babysitters etc. We have invited ten people for a quiet party at home. I have told everyone that this is an adult party; however my sister and her husband cannot find a babysitter so I told them they could bring the kids for a sleep over. Recently I heard through one of my friends that another friend has her nose out of joint because they were told not to bring their kids but my sister is bringing hers. I think the situation is a little different with my sister bringing her kids, as they are cousins and often spend the night at my home. What do you think? Cara

Hey Cara:

Thanks for writing. House parties are on the rise as many people agree it’s just too expensive to go out for New Year’s Eve. Having your sister’s children for a sleepover should not cause a problem, although you may want to explain to your friends beforehand that they will be spending the night at your home with their cousins. Without a doubt, there is a difference between cousins sleeping over and your friends’ children sleeping over. I really think most people will understand the difference. Happy New Year Cara!

Email your questions to Some submissions may be edited for length or to protect confidentiality; your real name and location will never be printed. This column is for entertainment only. The author is not a professional counsellor and this column is not intended to take the place of professional advice.

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