Dear Barb – Dealing with the (New) Years.

Dear Barb,

I really enjoy Dear Barb’s columns and her advice. I have experienced similar situations and found this column helpful. I have a question for her. My husband and I have been together for 3 years. We have had our ups and downs in this short time but one of the things we struggle with is to find something in common like activities or interests. We are very different people with very different backgrounds. What can we do to help us find some common interests as we have another 50 years of marriage and need to find something we both enjoy? Thanks. Bella

Hi Bella:

Having differences does not have to be a problem, but you do need to have common interests to keep you connected. What brought you together? You must have had some common interests initially. Embrace your differences, while establishing new activities that you can do together. For example, if you enjoy different kinds of movies, compromise, take turns choosing movies that you each like. You will be doing something together, plus expanding your horizons. As I suggested in a previous column, search out activities that you may like, such as hiking/walking, most cities have hiking clubs you could join. Start up a bowling night with friends. Take dance lessons. Dancing is great exercise, plus a lot of fun. If you like playing cards, join a card group, or start a euchre night with family or friends. Take a class together. Check out your library, they offer a lot of activities, such as author readings, book clubs, movie nights, workshops, lectures and most are free. The possibilities are endless. Most importantly, enjoy your time together.

Dear Barb:

OMG! Went to a New Year’s Eve party and got so drunk that I did something I shouldn’t have! I am so embarrassed. My friend invited me to a party at her house and there was a lot of people that I didn’t know and we got drinking and dancing and I ended up with some guy I had just met. We both got carried away and ended up in my friend’s bedroom having sex. The worst part is she walked in on us. She didn’t say anything, but just closed the door and didn’t mention it to us. I haven’t seen her since. I don’t know whether I should just let it go and not mention it again, or should I apologize for my indiscretion. Super embarrassed, Brandi!

Hi Brandi:
The New Year’s Eve hangover! I think if you don’t mention this it will always been hanging over your relationship with his person. Thank her for inviting you to her party, apologize for your indiscretion then let it go and do not bring it up again. We all mess up at one time or another. Happy New Year!

Email your questions to Some submissions may be edited for length or to protect confidentiality; your real name and location will never be printed. This column is for entertainment only. The author is not a professional counsellor and this column is not intended to take the place of professional advice.

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