Dear Barb – Things Lost

Dear Barb:

My friend’s dog suddenly dropped dead. Her dog was only five years old and well taken care of and very healthy. She is totally devastated and I don’t know what to say to comfort her. Jessie dropped dead right in front of her and there was nothing she could do. How do you comfort someone who has lost a pet? Thanks, Amy.

Hi Amy:

So sorry for your friend’s loss. Losing a pet can be as devastating as losing a child or other family member. They have been by your side daily, probably for years, and their loss leaves a huge hole in your heart and your life. There are things a broken-hearted person can do to help them work through their grief, however I don’t think there is anything you personally can do, except to be a supportive listener for your friend. Many websites offer advice on how to deal with the loss of a pet. Perhaps you could help your friend to find a way to say goodbye to her beloved pet, as obviously she did not have that opportunity. Saying goodbye may include writing a letter to your pet or simply saying the words to yourself or out loud, as well as praying for your pet’s peaceful transition to the afterlife. It takes time and the grieving process is different for everyone, so don’t expect your friend to “get over it” this will come when the time is right. Thanks for your question Amy.

Dear Barb:

Hi, I am a thirty-five year old woman and I’m still single. I’ve had lots of relationships, but they never seem to work out. Sometimes It’s his fault and sometimes It’s my fault. I really can’t figure out why I keep picking guys that I am not compatible with. Could there be something wrong with me, or maybe I really want to be alone. I believe that I want a husband and kids, but it just never works out. Do you have any advice for me? Tiffany.

Hi Tiffany:

Thanks for your question. I think a lot of people in today’s society will be able to relate to you. In a society where 50% of marriages fail, it doesn’t make a person want to take that chance. Relationships are hard work and require a lot of compromise and tolerance. Often people enter into relationships or marriages and believe that they will be able to change the person into someone they want them to be. That does not happen. People are who they are and do not change their basic personality. They may change some of their behaviours, but not who they are. Perhaps you are trying too hard and overlooking obvious incompatibilities early on, but inevitably they come to the surface. Try to relax and allow the future to unfold as it is supposed to; you might be surprised with who comes along.

Email your questions to Some submissions may be edited for length or to protect confidentiality; your real name and location will never be printed. This column is for entertainment only. The author is not a professional counsellor and this column is not intended to take the place of professional advice.

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