Dear Barb – The Question of Ink & Age

Dear Barb:

I am dating a guy who is ten years older than me. I am twenty-one and he is thirty-one. We get along great and have a lot of things in common. At first, I was a little hesitant to see him because of the age difference, but I liked him so much that I continued and now we are definitely in a relationship. The problem is that I still live at home with my parents and I haven’t told them about him, let alone his age. I think my dad might panic and I really love my parents and don’t want to have any problems with them. I was thinking of just having them meet him, but not tell them his age, what do you think? Tonya

Hi Tonya:

Some say age isn’t important, but in a lot of respects it is important. For example, if you are both at different points in your life, age could be a major factor. If you do not want kids until you are older and your boyfriend is ready to start a family that could cause major disagreements between you. Also, in your careers, you probably will just be starting out, if you are even finished school, whereas your boyfriend may have been working for a while and be well established. However, as long as you discuss these things they can all be resolved. I think you need to introduce your boyfriend to your parents and, if they ask his age, then you should tell them the truth. There is no point in lying or hiding the fact that he is older as it will come out. I would think if he’s a decent guy who treats you well, your parents would be able to accept him in your life. Thanks Tonya.

Dear Barb:

I’m sick of reading all this negative stuff about people who have a lot of tattoos. I have a friend who is covered in tattoos; in fact she is a tattoo artist. She is also a mother of two and a great person. She doesn’t drink, smoke or do anything illegal and takes very good care of her children. In fact I wouldn’t hesitate to leave my children with her. What makes people so small-minded and judgemental! Tammy

Hi Tammy:

You know the old saying,” don’t judge a book by its cover,” well that’s exactly what happens a lot of the time. It is nobody’s business except your own how you choose to dress, color your hair, or what tattoos you choose. On the other hand, some tattoos are offensive and if they are displayed in a location that is highly visible, this may cause some problems for the individual. For example if you are going to work in a fancy restaurant that is frequented by older people, and have a questionable tattoo that is visible to all patrons, an employer may choose not to hire you. So while is it is up to the individual what and where they chose to put their tattoos, we do have to conform somewhat to what is acceptable in our society. Thanks for your question Tammy.

Email your questions to voice@voicemagazine.org. Some submissions may be edited for length or to protect confidentiality; your real name and location will never be printed. This column is for entertainment only. The author is not a professional counsellor and this column is not intended to take the place of professional advice.

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