Dear Barb – Mommy Dearest

Dear Barb:

My mother is driving me crazy! She is so nosy! She keeps going through my computer and my phone. I’m not sure what she is looking for, I’m a good son. I will be starting university this year and I have never been in any trouble. I don’t use drugs or drink. Why would she be looking through my stuff? When I ask her about it, she denies that she has been through my stuff, but I can tell she has been. Also she asks me questions that indicate she has definitely been on my laptop. How can I stop my mother from this behaviour? Looking forward to your advice. Zack

Hey Zack:

You definitely sound like a good kid. Not sure why your mother would be going through your stuff. I think you need to have a serious discussion with her about why she is doing this. Assure her that you are not into drugs or any other vices. Tell her that you are aware of what she is doing and you would appreciate her not going through your stuff since you have not given her any reason for this type of behaviour. If your mother continues then you can put a password on your computer and phone. Perhaps she is just fearful you will get into trouble, so she is trying to prevent that from happening. Keep the lines of communication open. Congrats on entering university.

And speaking of mothers?

Dear Barb:

I recently broke up with my husband of two years. We just could not get along. It was always a tumultuous relationship, but my mom and him got along really well. The problem is I don’t think my mom should continue a relationship with my ex, but she thinks It’s okay to talk to him if she wants to. I told her if she continues to talk to him she will not see me. Why would she want to continue a relationship with him? Amanda

Hi Amanda:

It’s unfortunate that you and your husband have broken up; relationships are difficult to say the least. I don’t think you can really tell someone who they can talk to, let alone give your mother an ultimatum. This behaviour is not resolving anything. I’m sure over time the relationship between your mom and your ex will wane, but that is not something that you can control. You could explain to your mother that you would prefer she not discuss what is going on in your life with your ex and that you would not be interested in hearing about what is going on in your ex’s life. Just because you and your ex didn’t get along doesn’t mean other family members shouldn’t talk to him. Time to let this go and move on. Thanks for writing Amanda

Email your questions to Some submissions may be edited for length or to protect confidentiality; your real name and location will never be printed. This column is for entertainment only. The author is not a professional counsellor and this column is not intended to take the place of professional advice.

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