Dear Barb – The Spice of Life

Dear Barb:

My husband and I have been married for quite a few years. For the most part we are happy, except that he is always criticizing me. He makes me feel like I can’t do anything right. When we are talking with friends, he often corrects my words or dates, which I admit may be off by a day or two. Also when I cook dinner, he usually adds salt or spices. When I bring it to his attention he says it’s fine, he just wants more spices. He says I am being overly sensitive, but I don’t agree with him. Why can’t he just accept me for who I am? Thanks Nancy.

Hey Nancy:

It is possible that you are being overly sensitive. Some people like more spices or salt than others. If he says its fine, then don’t worry about it, he just likes to put his own spices on his food. As for correcting words or dates, maybe you could explain to your husband how this makes you feel. I’m sure he didn’t feel he was being critical, but rather just helping you out. You have to accept him, just like he has to accept you. This are little issues that are easily worked out.

Dear Barb:

My girlfriend and I have been dating for two years and we are in our final year of university. A few months ago we moved in together and we are already having problems. We both like to play video games and this was not a problem until we began cohabitating. Now she says I am spending all my time playing games rather than spending time with her. It seems to me that when she is finished playing she wants me to stop playing as well. I don’t think that’s fair, I may still want to play. I’m beginning to regret moving in with her. Do you have any suggestions on how we could resolve this issue. Thanks Scott.

Hi Scott:

This is an all too common issue in today’s society. Frequently people get caught up in playing these games and don’t realize how much of their life is really spent gaming. Obviously when you were not living with your girlfriend you did not realize how much time you both spent playing games. You need to find another activity to do together. Perhaps you would go for a walk, go to a movie, play a card game, or board game. People have gotten away from these activities. There is something to be said about sitting across from someone and playing a card game or a good game of chess. Thus you are facing each other and connecting in a way that you cannot do with a video game. Thanks for sharing Scott!

Email your questions to voice@voicemagazine.org. Some submissions may be edited for length or to protect confidentiality; your real name and location will never be printed. This column is for entertainment only. The author is not a professional counsellor and this column is not intended to take the place of professional advice.

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