Dear Barb – Time Changes

Dear Barb:

My boyfriend and I just moved in together. We both always wanted a Golden Retriever so when the opportunity arose we bought one. Unfortunately we had a trip planned and were hoping we could pick up the dog after we got back, but the breeder told us we had to take the pup right away, so we did. We brought Sasha home to meet our family and my grandma fell in love with her and offered to watch her while we are on our trip. My boyfriend and I were happy about that, as we were going to have to put her in a Kennel. The problem is that was a couple of months ago and in the meantime Sasha has grown tremendously and is almost 50 pounds now. My grandma dropped in for a visit as she hadn’t seen us for a while and she was very surprised at the size of Sasha. A couple of days later I received a text from my grandma saying she couldn’t watch Sasha because she felt she would be too much for her to handle, as she has two very old and sickly Pomeranians. My boyfriend and I were quite upset as we can’t get her into the kennel now. I think my grandmother should have told me earlier or she should live up to her word and take Sasha for the week. I am really angry at her and haven’t spoken to her since. What do you think? Thanks Kristen.

Hi Kristen:

It seems neither you, your boyfriend or your grandmother gave a lot of thought to how quickly puppies grow. There really is no point in being angry at your grandmother, that won’t change things, you have to accept that your grandmother is unable to watch Sasha and make other arrangements. I’m sure your grandmother had the best of intentions and just wanted to be helpful. On the other hand you must have known that your grandmother had two sickly dogs, so I guess you weren’t thinking either. Just move forward from this and appreciate your grandmother’s offer to help. I hope you enjoy your vacation.

Dear Barb:

I have been married for five years. When we got married my husband treated me like a Queen, now he ignores me most of the time. For example, he used to let me pick all the movies we watched and plan our vacations. I managed the money and was able to buy whatever I wanted. He used to rub my feet every night and serve me drinks and snacks. Now he almost seems like he is angry at me and I don’t understand why. Don’t you think if men want to be happy they should make their wives happy first? Like Dr. Phil says, “If momma ain’t happy, nobody’s happy! Patricia

Hi Patricia:

Marriage is a 50/50 partnership; it’s not all about one person making the other happy. Firstly each person is responsible for making themselves happy. Your husband should not be expected to wait on you, nor should you be expected to wait on him. You can both work together in a partnership, taking into account each other’s thoughts and feelings. I think you are taking Dr. Phil’s comment literally and I don’t think that was how it was meant. Thanks for writing in, hope I was able to help.

Email your questions to voice@voicemagazine.org. Some submissions may be edited for length or to protect confidentiality; your real name and location will never be printed. This column is for entertainment only. The author is not a professional counsellor and this column is not intended to take the place of professional advice.

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