Dear Barb – No Sex, Too Much Facebook

Dear Barb:

Hi, I have not been able to talk about this with anyone. My girlfriend and I have been dating for almost a year and we haven’t been sexually intimate. We are affectionate, but she always stops it before we go too far. She is a great girl and we get along and have lots of common interests. I keep wondering if there is something wrong with her, like maybe she was abused or something. What happens if we get married and then end up with sexual problems. I haven’t discussed this with her, as I am trying to respect her wishes. She does come from a strict Catholic family so maybe that has something to do with it. I’m really not sure what to do about this situation, any suggestions? Thanks Luke

Hi Luke:

I’m happy you chose to write in Luke. The fact that your girlfriend comes from a strict Catholic family could definitely have something to do with this situation, as premarital sex has not been acceptable in a Roman Catholic upbringing. It is important that you discuss this with your girlfriend. Communication is a pivotal part of any relationship. No matter how much you have in common, if you are not able to discuss issues, problems will inevitably arise. She may have been abused, or it may be her upbringing, but you need to discuss these issues before you even contemplate marriage. If you do not feel comfortable, perhaps you will both have to go to a counselor in order to address these issues. Best of luck Luke.

Dear Barb:

I’m on Facebook, as are most of my friends. I basically use it to keep in touch with family and friends and stay up to date with what’s new in their lives. I have a problem with people who post every time they have an argument or break up with their partner. They air all their dirty laundry and then a week later they are back together. don’t people realize that affects how others view their partners? I really think people should use their chat or email for stuff like that, not broadcast it to the whole world! What do you think? Leah

Hey Leah:

I tend to agree with you. Individuals who air their dirty laundry on Facebook are probably the same individuals who choose to tell everybody all the details of their lives anyway. Facebook provides them with a bigger forum and unfortunately if you are their friend you will see it, unless you turn your notifications off, which is easy enough to do. Facebook is a public forum where users can post whatever they like, which is the beauty and also the detriment of Facebook. Thanks Leah.

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