Dear Barb:
I have recently gotten married; our wedding was beautiful, as was our honeymoon. However, since we got home from the honeymoon things have changed drastically! We argue all the time, and if we’re not screaming at each other, we’re nit picking. It’s not all his fault, I’m doing it too. It just seems like everything he does drives me crazy. Some of these things bothered me before we got married, but, since we weren’t living together, it wasn’t a big issue. I guess I thought things would change once we got married, but they didn’t. The arguing is so bad that I’m not really sure I love Gary anymore. I think I made a big mistake and I don’t know what to do. I haven’t told anyone how unhappy I am, but I think people are suspecting something’s wrong. I feel like such a loser! Should I just end this marriage and move on? Thanks, Tara.
Hi Tara:
What an unfortunate situation. It sounds like maybe you got caught up with the wedding plans and failed to look beyond. Weddings are a stressful time and it is normal to feel some tension during the preparation, but that usually subsides once you settle into your normal lives. It seems with you and your husband that didn’t happen. It is difficult to adjust to living with another person and it does take time, but there seems to be something more going on here, especially since you are doubting your love for your husband. I think you both need to find a competent marriage counsellor and try to work this out before you give up. You may just need to learn some skills to help the adjustment into married life. So don’t give up yet! Best of Luck Tara
Dear Barb:
I recently ended a relationship with my best friend’s brother. I was a little hesitant about becoming involved with Jeff because he was my best friend’s brother, but the attraction was so strong that we decided to date. We dated for about a year but things didn’t work out. Many people didn’t want us to date, because of how it might affect my best friend and me. We didn’t listen; we both thought we knew what was best for us. Now my best friend won’t talk to me and a lot of our mutual friends have chosen sides. In retrospect, I regret that I became involved in this relationship and I’m having a hard time moving forward. I feel like I have lost so much. Why didn’t I see the warning signs that everyone else saw? Help, Lisa.
Hey Lisa:
Don’t beat yourself up about it! Sometimes we only see what we want to see. You were both probably caught up in the attraction and newness of the situation; we’ve all been there at one time or another. The important thing is what you have been able to take away from this experience. Give yourself time to heal and go on with your life. I think you will find some of these friends will come back and even your best friend may come back. Good question Lisa.
Email your questions to voice@voicemagazine.org. Some submissions may be edited for length or to protect confidentiality; your real name and location will never be printed. This column is for entertainment only. The author is not a professional counsellor and this column is not intended to take the place of professional advice.
