Dear Barb – Taking a Gamble

Dear Barb:

I will be graduating college shortly with an engineering degree and I have already received a job offer, which I accepted. The problem is that I have received a second job offer and the pay is better than the job I already accepted. I am not sure what to do. The job that I accepted is a great place to work and they have gone out of their way to make me feel comfortable, as I have already been working part-time while finishing school. The job offer from the other factory includes substantially better wages, but there is not as much room for progress. I am not sure if I should accept the better offer to get the experience and then leave in a few years, or stay where I’m at since there is plenty of room for progress here. I am so confused! Dan

Hi Dan:

Good for you, two job offers! As you know the decision is ultimately up to you. However since you have accepted a job offer and are already working there, you may want to consider whether you want to burn that bridge. You said there is room for advancement at your present position, however if you accept the other offer and leave they may not be receptive to you returning at a later date. My advice is to stay where you are, as you most likely will excel beyond where you would at the other position due to the limited growth potential. Good luck, Dan and thanks for writing.

Dear Barb:

My wife and I have been married five years. We occasionally go to casinos but gambling has never become a problem until recently. My wife signed up for online gambling and she is gambling hundreds of dollars a week. She did not tell me about this and I only discovered it when I saw it on our credit card statement. My wife usually takes care of the bills so I don’t see our credit card statements, but when I noticed a large payment to our Visa card I went online and saw the statement. I was shocked! I confronted my wife and she was kind of sheepish and said she thought it would be fun. Apparently she didn’t realize how difficult it would be to stop the automatic payments from coming off the credit card. She says she is trying to get hold of the person in charge to stop the payments. I checked through previous statements and realized she has been doing this for at least six months. I am wondering if she may have a problem and if I should get her into some sort of group or something, as we really can’t afford this to go on much longer. Thanks, Ben

Hi Ben:

I think the scenario you are describing is all too common with the proliferation of casinos in every community and online. It does sound like your wife has a problem as she has been hiding her gambling from you, so she obviously knows she is out of control. She may have every intention of stopping, but as with all addictions, It’s not that easy. It would be a good idea to contact the Gamblers Anonymous chapter in your area and they will be able to direct you to the appropriate facilities, whether it is a support group, a 12 step program or individual counselling. Thanks for your question Ben.

Email your questions to voice@voicemagazine.org. Some submissions may be edited for length or to protect confidentiality; your real name and location will never be printed. This column is for entertainment only. The author is not a professional counsellor and this column is not intended to take the place of professional advice.

A student choice, Dear Barb deals with all sorts of issues, just as we have all sorts of students. This one was chosen because of how these issues are so different from what is normally seen in advice columns.

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