I am writing in response to your column from a couple of weeks ago from Dana. I was in a similar situation and I told my friend that I saw her boyfriend on a dating website. When she confronted her boyfriend, he said that he must have forgotten to take it off and proceeded to remove it. Things were a little tense with my girlfriend for a short time, but her boyfriend was very cold and distant with me. Following this incident my friend began to do some further investigating and found out her boyfriend was on numerous dating sites and hooking up with women. Needless to say she ended that relationship and was very happy that I told her. I did see some cracks in their relationship which is why I decided to tell her about seeing Gary on the dating site. Deb.
Thanks for writing! Its good hear your story.
My husband and I have been married three years and he’s driving me crazy! He is such a procrastinator! I have been asking him for the last six months to fix a broken shower head in the bathroom and he keeps saying he will do it, but it’s still not fixed. Also his desk is covered with papers and books; again he keeps saying he will get around to it but I find myself nagging him to get it done or doing it myself, then I end up resentful. Why can’t he realize this is affecting our relationship! How can I get him to tidy up? Thanks Lori.
What you are describing is an all too common problem that leads to many difficulties between people who are living in close proximity. Often individuals procrastinate for the simple reason that the chore ahead of them is not fun or fulfilling. If your husband’s procrastination is causing you to argue all the time, or you end up doing the task yourself, then nothing is being solved. Perhaps you could find a better way to handle this. How about if you offer to help your husband clear off his desk? He may have left it for so long that he doesn’t know where to start. You could assist in getting him motivated and once he gets started slowly move away and hopefully he will finish it on his own. You could do the same with the shower head by offering to go with him to pick out a new shower head. Hopefully he will be motivated to go and get it himself. Most importantly, while your husband is doing these chores make sure the TV is off and that there are no other distractions that will provide him with an excuse to leave the job. It’s worth a try, because what you are doing now doesn’t seem to be working. Good Luck, Lori.
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