Hi, I hope some of your readers can relate to my story. My husband and I met after the untimely death of our spouses. We both have grown children who were, supportive of our relationship. Since we were older and this was not our first marriage we decided to elope. Unfortunately, my daughter was quite upset that we didn’t have a traditional wedding and invite our children. She felt slighted and has never let me forget it. She even passed her feelings to my grandchildren, who constantly remind me that they weren’t invited to the wedding. For example, when our anniversary comes around, my daughter will act like she doesn’t remember and then when I remind her she says, “oh maybe if I would have been invited I would remember.” I have heard the same remarks echoing from my grandchildren. Why would someone act like that, we are all supposed to be adults, why can’t my daughter act like one? Thanks Yvonne
Thanks for your letter and congrats on finding love again! As often happens with weddings, people lose track of whose day it is. You need to tell your daughter and your grandchildren that this was your wedding, this was the way that you chose to be married, and that you would appreciate it if they would stop bringing it up and trying to make you feel bad. You could also invite your daughter to host a wedding celebration for you and your husband, that way family and friends will feel they were a part of your marriage.
I am in the process of making wedding plans and I think I am making a mistake, or maybe it’s just cold feet! I am stressed out; my fiancée and I are arguing all the time, and I almost feel like I hate everything about him! I feel like I got swept into this relationship because my family and friends liked Mark. He’s well educated, has a good job, and is easy going, and I liked all those things about him, but he is also needy and childish, and I feel like I will be taking care of him my whole life. But, maybe I am just overreacting because of the stress of the wedding. I need some advice! Thanks, Heather.
All I can say is if you are feeling as strongly as you are expressing in your letter don’t go ahead with this marriage. You need to cancel it and both of you see a counselor before you step into something that maybe be end up being a disaster! Let us know how you make out. Good luck Heather!
Email your questions to firstname.lastname@example.org. Some submissions may be edited for length or to protect confidentiality; your real name and location will never be printed. This column is for entertainment only. The author is not a professional counsellor and this column is not intended to take the place of professional advice.