Dear Barb – Dating 00101(011) ? Binary Response

Dear Barb:

I am in my late twenties and I have a one-year-old daughter. My daughter’s father is not with us, we tried to stay together but it just didn’t work. Before I got pregnant I was in university and now I want to spend time with my daughter so I decided to get my degree online. I recently began taking courses through AU and saw your column while I was reading The Voice. My biggest problem is that I’m so lonely and really miss the university lifestyle. The only place I can meet anyone is in a bar, and all I’ve met are jerks, so I decided to try online dating sites. I have been on a few dates, but it never developed into anything. I have to admit the meetings end up being sexual and maybe That’s why I never got a call back. This is my first experience with online dating and I’m wondering if all the guys on these sites are just looking for sex. I feel pretty bad after these dates. I have talked to other people who have met through online dating and they are now in relationships. I’m wondering if It’s something I’m doing that is causing all my dates to end this way. What do you think? Thanks, Jennifer.

Hi Jennifer:

Online dating is definitely here to stay and I also know a lot of people who have met their significant other online and are in successful relationships. How your dates end is completely up to you. I don’t know what your profile looks like, but you may be attracting the wrong type of guy. Make sure that you present yourself as more than a pretty face and a body. If you want a person of substance you have to be a person of substance. Also be careful not to present yourself as a perfect person, as that will cause guys to be skeptical or feel they are not good enough. Be honest and present yourself as you really are. don’t make up stuff that you think guys like to hear or see. If you do this, then you not going to end up with the person you truly want to be with, since you did not present yourself as the person you truly are. Also be careful of the photos you put on, if they are all selfies and boob shots, then that is what you are selling. Include pictures of you doing things that you enjoy, perhaps out hiking, biking or whatever it is you like to do. Genuine pictures are going to attract genuine guys. I’m sure there are guys on dating sites who are looking strictly for sex and ultimately they are going to gravitate to the profiles that fit in with what that criteria. Another important fact is not to complain about your exes on your profile, as that will turn off most men. Write about the attributes you have to offer and what you are looking for in a potential partner. The best advice I can give you is to present yourself in a true and genuine manner and for the most part you will attract the kind of responses you are looking for. Thanks for writing Jennifer, hope this was helpful.

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