Dear Barb – Just Friends & Finances

Dear Barb:

My wife is spending money like crazy! She is running our credit cards to the max and our bank account is always in the red. I’m a saver. I hate debts. We are arguing constantly about money and it is ruining our relationship. I feel like cutting her off from the bank accounts, but she works and contributes to the household, so I don’t think that would be fair. How can I get my wife to stop spending money that we don’t have? Thanks for your advice, Matthew.

Hi Matthew:

I’m happy you realize you cannot cut your wife off from the bank accounts. If she works and contributes she has an equal say in how the money is spent. The best advice I can give you is for you and your wife to set up a budget. It’s important that you do it together. Decide how much spending money you each will have and how much you will spend on groceries, household items and personal toiletries etc. Setting up a budget is just the beginning, you have to revisit this budget weekly to make sure that you are both still on track. This way you will be able to catch any overspending right away. It is important that each person has their own money to spend as they choose, so they will feel they have some personal control. Try this route for six months and if things are still going off the rails, then it might be a good idea to see a credit counsellor. Best of luck Matthew.

Dear Barb:

So I have a rant, ready? This is about girls and guys being friends. So many people say that guys and girls can’t be just friends. I disagree. I have a handful of good girlfriends and probably two handfuls of good guy friends. These guy friends I would never have any other relations with other than friends. I seem to have more in common and get along better with the guys. Most like the same things I like which are derbies, cars, mud, and living life a bit on the edge. They make you laugh harder and sometimes give better advice. I don’t have to go shoe shopping with them or get mani-pedis (I’m not a girly girl). So no this does not make me a whore or anything else but a friend. Besides guys are less annoying than girls! So trust me when I say “WE ARE JUST FRIENDS!” Why can’t people stop making judgements and accept that girls and guys can just be friends? Thanks, Jenn!

Hey Jenn:

Great question Jenn! You make a good point and I guess the only thing I can say is that there is always the possibility that the friendship could cross the line, but on the other hand a relationship between same sex friends can also cross the line. It’s your decision who you want to be friends with male or female. Don’t be bothered by other people’s opinions, even when there is nothing to talk about people will always be able to find something to say.

Follow Barb on Twitter @BarbGod

Email your questions to Some submissions may be edited for length or to protect confidentiality; your real name and location will never be printed. This column is for entertainment only. The author is not a professional counsellor and this column is not intended to take the place of professional advice.

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