Dear Barb – Temporary Relationships

Dear Barb:

I am in my early twenties and just finishing university. I’ve had the same boyfriend since high school and I always thought we’d end up married. Recently I’ve noticed he seems to be spending a lot of time with my roommate. They go out together or hang out at home when I am working. They get along better than me and my boyfriend ever did. But, to be honest, it’s not really bothering me. I think they make a much better couple than we do. I feel really weird saying this. I want to breakup with him, but I’m afraid I might regret it. Maybe this is just a something I’m going through. I’m not sure what to do, need some advice. Thanks, Janet.

Hey Janet:

Thanks for your letter. I think your relationship with your boyfriend has run its course. If you can look at him and your roommate and see that they make a good couple and you don’t have any jealousy, it’s time to end this relationship and move on. When couples begin dating at a young age, they often outgrow the relationship as they mature and change. I believe this is what’s happened to you. Time to move to the next chapter of your life.

Dear Barb:

I’m in my third year of university. Finances have been very difficult for me. I never seemed to make enough money to pay for my education until I joined an escort service. Now I am able to make enough money to afford school without going into debt. Plus I have more time to spend on my studies. I usually just go out for dinner or a show with these gentlemen. They are paying good money for my company. The dates rarely become sexual unless I want it to. I haven’t told my family what I’m doing but have told a few friends. My friends are shocked and not supportive. In fact my best friend said what I am doing is prostituting myself. I really don’t think there is anything wrong with what I’m doing. As soon as I’m finished school I will stop escorting and find a real job. How do I handle this criticism? Because of their reactions I’m not sure I want to tell my family, for fear of what they will say. Help! Andrea.

Hi Andrea:

Without a doubt university tuition is very expensive and many students are going to extreme means to fund their educations. Governments have been talking about free tuition for years, but this never seems to materialize and students are ending up with enormous debt by the time they graduate. I find it sad that you have chosen to be an escort to fund your education. Escorting is a risky profession, which could affect your overall sense of well-being. Whatever choices we make in life, especially something as controversial as escorting, we have to be prepared for other’s reactions. If you are happy with your choice, then all you can do is make this known to your critics and move on. As far as telling your family, I don’t know a lot of families that would be happy to hear their daughter is engaging in this type of behaviour. Sorry I couldn’t be more helpful. Thanks for your letter, Andrea.

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Email your questions to Some submissions may be edited for length and to protect confidentiality; your real name and location will never be printed. This column is for entertainment only. The author is not a professional counsellor and this column is not intended to take the place of professional advice.