Dear Barb – Gifting Honesty

Dear Barb:

I have a dilemma; my best friend is dating a woman who is cheating on him. They have been together for almost a year and I never really liked her. I always thought she was a controlling gold-digger. I’ve told Richard how I feel about her and he didn’t take it well. I think I should tell him what she’s doing, but I doubt that he will believe me. Because of what I’ve said about his girlfriend in the past, he may think I am just making this up. Richard is helping Angela with car payments and rent. I hate to see him being used like this. Should I just let this go, or take a chance and tell Richard what I know. I don’t want to ruin our friendship, as we’ve been friends for years. Do you have any suggestions? Thanks, Ben.

Hey Ben:

Thanks for your question. It’s always difficult when put in these types of situations. If you don’t tell your friend and he finds out that you knew but didn’t tell him, he will not be happy with you. If you tell him he may not believe you and if he doesn’t ever find out the truth, he will think you were trying to sabotage his relationship. Since you found out about her cheating, there is probably a good chance that Richard will eventually discover this as well. My advice to you would be to follow your heart. There is risk involved in telling him or not telling him. If you don’t tell him and he ends up marrying her and she continues this type of behaviour after marriage, he will be very hurt and you may regret not telling him the truth. Personally, I always believe telling the truth is the best policy. If he were not your best friend, then my advice would be different, but since you are so close, I think he would be devastated if you weren’t honest with him. Hope this was helpful.

Dear Barb:

I’ve been in a couple of weddings this summer and I’ve got one more to go. I am university student and I’m finding it difficult to afford these weddings. It would be cheaper for me to buy a gift, but it seems everybody prefers money these days. How much money I am expected to give? Thanks, Chris.

Hi Chris:

Weddings can be expensive, especially if you have more than one within a short period of time. The typical cash gift for a wedding is around $150, but many factors will come into play. For example, is this a family member, or just a casual acquaintance? According to a CBS News article if it is a friend’s wedding the average is around $80 and if it is a family member it could be upwards of $150, however you can only give what you can afford. Often a thoughtful gift will mean a lot more to the couple than cash, as they know you took the time to select a special gift. Great question Chris, as this is the wedding season.

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