Dear Barb – Uninvited Commentary

Dear Barb:

I am in my early forties and about to enter into my third marriage. My wife to be has also been married twice before. We are not having a big celebration because we both feel a little awkward having to deal with all the comments about a third marriage. I know I messed up in my previous marriages, but I really feel like this is the right thing to do. I don’t know how to deal with the comments from others. Do you have any suggestions? Thanks, Jason.

Hey Jason:

Congratulations on the prenuptials. Three marriages is a lot, but the important thing is if you learned anything from your failed marriages. Often people who experience multiple marriages are people who always believe they are right. If you are a person who constantly thinks they are right and everybody else is wrong, you may not be ready to enter into another marriage. But it takes two to make a mistake and in failed marriages, both parties have equal ownership. As far as entering this marriage, you are the only one who knows what you truly feel in your heart. If you honestly believe this is going to work and you are marrying for the right reasons, then you need to hold your head up and ignore the negative comments. I know it’s a hard thing to do, but it’s your life and you cannot live it according to anyone else’s values. Good luck, Jason.

Dear Barb:

One of our relatives owns a cottage and often family members use it for their vacation. We went there a couple of weeks ago and we were assured that we could have it to ourselves for the week; however, that was not the case. The owner of the cottage and their children arrived half-way through the week, so we all had to double up the sleeping arrangements so there would be enough room for everyone. Don’t get me wrong, we love them, but we just wanted a week of peace and quiet. I don’t think they should have showed up unannounced during the week we were using the cottage. A few family members think I am being unreasonable since they are letting us use the cottage free of charge. They felt they should have been able to come and stay at their own cottage. What do you think, Lauren?

Hey Lauren:

I tend to agree with you. If the owners assured you that you could have the cottage to yourself for a week then they should have kept their word. Maybe next time, you should offer to pay for your week that may cause them to think twice before arriving, since you are basically renting the cottage for the week. Great question!

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Email your questions to Some submissions may be edited for length and to protect confidentiality; your real name and location will never be printed. This column is for entertainment only. The author is not a professional counsellor and this column is not intended to take the place of professional advice.