The Fit Student—When Loved Ones Die

You’re preparing for a test and you get a phone call.  Your loved one has died.  Now what?  Well, you could mourn at the funeral.  The funeral ends, but the heartache lasts.  I find a better solution is to listen to the Long Island psychic, Theresa Caputo.

The psychic says do rituals to heal your loss of a loved one.  After my loved one died, I put holiday decorations on her grave: Easter bunnies, Valentine’s hearts,   Christmas wreaths.  In those moments, I felt my loved one healing and guiding me.

And the psychic says look for signs of your deceased loved one.  Once, when I approached my loved one’s grave, a bunny quivered against her tombstone.  Its ears pulled back into innocence.  Its fur shimmered white, begging for a petting.  Other times when I approached the grave, the sun beamed blinding starbursts through the trees.  Psychic Theresa Caputo suggests such delights serve as deceased loved ones’ ways to say hi.

And the psychic insists our deceased loved ones become guardian angels.  When my landlady passed, I inherited twenty paperback books, all about guardian angels.  And I read every one.  Prior to my landlady’s passing, she gave my boyfriend a medal that said, “Never drive faster than your guardian angel can fly.”  Today, my boyfriend boasts a perfect driving record.  I believe my landlady wished to make her exit as our guardian angel.

But you might feel wary of psychics, avoiding their booths.  I, too, stay clear of psychics at carnivals, despite my curiosity.  But Theresa Caputo offers uplifting views on the afterlife that could soften most anyone’s grief.  Caputo helps you heal your inevitable grief in her book Good Grief: Heal Your Soul, Honor Your Loved Ones, and Learn to Live Again:

  • When your loved one dies, your feelings rock you: “When you lose a person you love, the feeling is so raw that it consumes you” (p. x).
  • And that heartache needs to heal: “It’s [your loved one’s] greatest hope that you learn to heal and carry on” (p. ix).
  • Yet, you’ll never be the same: “The goal of grieving is to find a new normal that you can accept … You will never be the ‘old you,’ but that doesn’t have to be a bad thing” (p. 16).
  • Find peace in the notion of guardian angels: “It’s your loved ones’ job in the afterlife to watch over, guide, and protect those they love on earth” (p. 9).
  • And ask for help from your deceased loved one: “Your loved ones are with you anytime you call on them” (p. 9).
  • And develop your bond with your deceased loved one: “Your relationships can even become stronger when your loved ones are in heaven because they are with you all the time …” (p. 10).
  • And know that milestones (like graduation) won’t go unnoticed. According to Theresa Caputo: “Milestones are just as important to spirit.  I can’t tell you how many souls say they attend weddings, graduations, births, reunions, vacations, and other meaningful events” (p.  10).
  • So, how can you heal? Do rituals that celebrate your loved one: “Your loved ones’ … souls are present when you do something that remembers, honors, or simply includes them” (p.  10).
  • How else can you heal? “Reminisc[e] about your memories, accep[t] help and support, release[e] burdens and guilt, and tak[e] care of yourself and those around you” (p. 14).
  • My favorite way to heal? “Tur[n] one of your fondest memories [of your loved one] into a treat for others.  Go buy your Nana’s favorite breakfast cookies from the bakery she loved … When you hand over the present, be sure to tell … what he or she meant to you” (p.  23).
  • But what if you and the deceased had a rocky relationship? “Know that Spirit’s guidance will always be positive. Loved ones and other well-intentioned Spirit never encourage you to have thoughts or feelings tinged by doubt, fear, or negativity” (p.  22).

When my papa passes, I’ll indulge in the things he loved: Mexico holidays, sports cars, true crime shows, and Black Forest Cake.  And he’ll keep rescuing me when I’m weary or lost—if only in my dreams.

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