Harness your health—and hone your body.  Hang out with me, and I’ll dish out secrets for sculpting you into a Madonna or Michelangelo.

But what if you snub gym-rats and heath-nuts?  Well, dip your fingertips into the cream: the tighter tummy, endless energy, curbed stress, cured disease, skyrocketed productivity.  Once you taste it, you’ll toss out your Twinkies.

But if you’re gung-ho, then dive in.  Here are tips on sculpting your power bod:

Gym-go the genius way: Pack a gym bag each night.  Rush to the gym the next morning or after work.  Strive for an hour workout, five days each week.  On your two days off, either rest or do fifteen-minutes yoga.

For tiptop results, get Arnold Schwarzenegger’s encyclopedia of body building—even if you’re female.  You won’t bulk yourself up into a she-hulk balloon unless you take steroids (but never take steroids as they’ll kill you off in your forties).  Pay personal trainers to steer you through Arnold’s routine.

And if you can’t afford a personal trainer, hire a fourth-year kinesiology student.  Get your nearest kinesiology department to let students know your desire to hire.  You’ll get a decent discount and a star education.  Or hire a fourth-year dance major.  Twenty bucks a half hour.  (I once hired a former Olympian to train me to wrestle.)

On top of weights, draw on cardio fun.  Yes, cardio slims you, but doesn’t sculpt you.  So, for curves, combine cardio with weights.

Diet the health-nut way: For diet results, read books on nutrition.  Or just read one health book.  After all, you get ditto the nutrition rehash, whether in books on curing cancer, dropping pounds, curbing anxiety, or preventing Alzheimer’s.

For example, nutrition books warn about restaurants.  So, limit dining out to once every three months.  Nutrition books often say 80% of stock at grocery stores fattens you up: prepackaged foods, processed foods, and junk food.  So, become a fruit and veggie shopaholic; make your shopping cart a mobile garden.

Every day, chew heaps of veggies plus a few fruits.  Swallow healthy fats such as almond butter, avocados, or flaxseeds (brain food).  Drink only water, milk from cows or plant sources, or sugar-free tea.  And shun chugging Macchiatos with extra whip.  Choose water or tea, and a banana instead.

Most of all, avoid desserts.  If you must taste sweets, mimic them with healthy treats.  For instance, to mimic angel food cake, whip up plain yogurt (instead of whip cream), All-Bran (instead of cake), and berries and bananas (instead of icing sugar).  Make mock-up angel food cake your breakfast go-to.

Research says muscles shrink after ten days.  Just like with sports, with your health you’re only as good as your last game, your last workout, your last week-and-a-half.  So, if you thirst for a high-quality life, keep moving and eating well.