The Fit Student—What if You Were Health Minister?

Wouldn’t you love to gain a political science major—and become the next Health Minister?  AU students seem to excel at politics.  AU’s very own Jason Nixon went from AUSU presidency to Alberta’s Minister of Environment and Parks.  What an opportunity to make change!  But maybe politics isn’t your thing.  Maybe you’d prefer to get perks—without even trying—simply due to deregulation or policies put in place.

If I got assigned as Health Minister, I’d give you those perks. How?  To start, I’d give tax holidays to organic farmers so that students and low-income folks could afford them.  No-one should suffer four years of studies fueled by Mac and Cheese.  Pet Fido might beg for Mac, but I pity the folks cleaning the noodle pooples.

And if you go to both AU and a physical university, I wouldn’t force-feed you fast foods.  Instead, I’d mandate university concession stands stock up on organic fruits, veggies, nuts, and seeds.  No salt.  No roasting.  Fresh and raw.  Just like an A student after an MCAT exam.

And if you’re in your eighties getting your first university degree, I’d mandate that seniors’ homes serve organic foods and get equipped with gyms.  Happy hours don’t rid you of toxins, but super sets do.  And aging healthily makes for happy decades, not tipsy hours.

I’d make sure you students with chronic diseases get supports, not just pills and go-nowhere diagnostics.  And then I’d have a panel of people with chronic illnesses put forth policy.  My last doctor smoked, had a paunch, and had a heart attack.  Yet, he had more health know-how than most politicians.  Meanwhile, some of the sickest patients run triathlons and eat strict diets.  And they turn their lives around.   So, doctor, politician, or patient—take your pick for who sets policy.

Today I saw a documentary that says autism can be reversed through an organic and non-GMO diet.  Supposedly, GMO (genetically modified crops) are built to resist pesticides.  But sadly, super weeds and super bugs have since sprouted that survive pesticides.  Thus, these super weeds and super bugs now need super doses of pesticides.  It’s like lighting term papers on fire to avoid the F’s.

As a health minister, I’d also give tax holidays to farmers who cultivated diverse crops and diverse breeds of beasts on single fields.  Monocrops (that host just one crop) destroy soil quality and force reliance on pesticides and artificial fertilizers.  But free-range animals do favors by fertilizing soil with feces.  This organic fertilization bolsters the good bacteria and enzymes in the soil.   Even diluted urine fertilizes soil.  Urine also acts as an ingredient in many medications.  No black magic turns potties to pills and potties to plants.

But you’re a student, right?  You might study at AU remotely from a farm, or you might have nothing to do with farming.  Either way, consider growing organics.  And if you get feisty, build a greenhouse.  I phoned a grocery chain, and the assistant manager said local (organic) farmers can call head office to apply to stock crops in the stores.  The crops would need to meet certain health standards.  But what better way to pay for your degree(s) and ditch the Mac and Cheese?

During exams, students’ faces break out, students’ stress levels skyrocket, and students’ noses drip and plug.  Students need more than instant noodles to suffer stressful tests.  We instead need degrees in Poli-Sci.

So, what would you wish to change if you were Health Minister?

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