Dear Barb—Until It’s Gone

Dear Barb:

I am a part time student and the mother of three young children.  My father is in the final stages of colon cancer and he and my mom are struggling.  I have always been close to my parents, but my brother hasn’t.  For the most part he has been estranged from the family.  My parents have tried to resolve issues with him, but he always finds something wrong with how  they treated him, or choices that they have made which he didn’t agree with.  He hasn’t spoken to my parents for the last five years.  I really want him to visit my dad before he passes, but whenever I bring up the topic, he tells me it’s none of my business and shuts me down.  I think he is going to regret not making peace with my dad after he’s gone.  Am I wrong in trying to get them to reconcile? Should I just let things be? Looking for advice, Brenda. 

Hi Brenda:

Sorry your family is facing this traumatic issue.  Unfortunately, there is nothing you can do about it.  If you try to force your brother to make amends with your dad when he doesn’t want to, it will only cause dissention between you and your brother.  In life we all make our choices and have to live with the consequences.  You can’t control what your brother chooses to do.  So my advice would be to let this be.  Thanks for your letter.

Dear Barb:

My letter is more venting than looking for advice.  I have a dog that I walk daily and I always bring a bag to clean up after her.  The thing that really irritates me is the people who bring a bag and pick up their dog’s poop, tie the bag and throw it on the side of the road.  Why not bring your dogs poop home and throw it in the garbage.  If you are going to take the time to pick it up, why not carry it home? I just don’t get it.  Maybe some of your readers can explain this to me.  Thanks, Emma.

Hey Emma:

Excellent point! The only explanation I can think of is that they don’t want to carry the bag home.  Many people are grossed out by dog poop, and often times it does create a stinky situation.  You wonder though, when they adopted the dog, did they think it wouldn’t poop, or that they wouldn’t have to pick it up?  Hopefully some readers will write in and give us both a better understanding.  Thanks Emma.

Email your questions to Some submissions may be edited for length or to protect confidentiality; your real name and location will never be printed. This column is for entertainment only. The author is not a professional counsellor and this column is not intended to take the place of professional advice.
%d bloggers like this: