When I was in grade nine, I went through an identity crisis. I had no idea who I was. I had no idea who I was meant to be, either. I looked to movies, such as The Breakfast Club. I looked to singers, such as Madonna. I looked to role models, like my brother. But I missed the point.
I then approached a teacher after school, asking her, “Who am I?” as I burst into tears. She didn’t have an answer. No-one had an answer.
After that, I sunk further down a path of suffering. But today, I believe I can save both you and I from spinning down the wrong road.
In short, I believe I’ve discovered who we are truly meant to be. And I wish to share my vision on who your true authentic self might be. Accept it, reject it. But it resonates with me, deeply. I hope in some way it touches you.
So, who are you?
Author William Courage says, in his book called Improve Your Social Skills, “As you interact with people in the future, work on presenting your true authentic self to them” (8%). I believe it’s one thing to be your authentic self. But it’s another thing to know who your authentic self truly is. Many of us don’t know. Many of us think we know. When you put your best foot forward, when you stay upbeat and positive, when you try to delight the people in your life, when you build others up, that’s your true authentic self, says Paul Friedman. The person who is polite, complimentary, pleasant, wonderful to be around—that’s your true authentic self.
But you’re more than that.
The person who invites a starving single parent family over for Thanksgiving dinner—that could be your authentic self. The person who sponsors a disabled child to go to the Paralympics—that could be your authentic self. The person who shovels a senior’s walks—that, too, could be your authentic self. There are so many wonderful thoughts, words, and deeds that could define your authentic self. Your inner beauty—a.k.a., your authentic self—has no limits.
But the person who complains, criticizes, or condemns—the three killers of any relationship, according to Paul Friedman—that is never your authentic self.
You have inner gifts—extraordinary gifts—that no-one else has. Not for a moment should you think your gifts lack when compared to others. Magnify the value you give your gifts by infinity to see how glorious you truly are. And while you’re at it, magnify your inner beauty by infinity—especially during those moments when you share your heart, or shed a beautiful tear, or perform an act of kindness—however small. I’m here to tell you, no matter where you are in life, you are magnificence.
I recently saw a video where a woman had the gift of trust. She developed her trust (in God, in her case) so intensely that she no longer felt anxiety or fear. She no longer worried about the future, either. Her convictions struck me as absolute, spoken from her heart. You, like her, possess gifts that have benefitted countless others, whether you realize it or not.
Your gifts are part of your true authentic self. And your true authentic self is solely defined by your positives. Brush aside the negatives—they’re not you. They never were. And you can develop even more gifts by putting your best foot forward.
One gift you can develop today is the gift of positive communications. Author William Courage says, “No one wants to speak with someone only to find out that they will be discussing negative things. When you communicate with others, try to keep the negativity to a minimum if you can help it” (10%). I believe if we speak only uplifting words, we grow happier. And others around us grow happier, too. So, replace or reframe negative thoughts with uplifting ones.
And, wow, do I have a way to uplift your mood. Watch a near death experience (NDE) clip highlighting a visit into “the light.” And then meditate (deep breathe) for ten minutes, rejoicing in all the things you love about people in your life. See only their perfections, their gifts, their beauty. Turn even their faults into points of delight. After the ten minutes, you’ll feel refreshed, recharged with pure positivity.
Then you come closer to your true authentic self.