Dear Barb—Trapped

Dear Barb:

Like everyone else I am getting so tired of this virus.  My husband and I are stuck in the house working from home and limiting contact with others.  At least during the summer, we were able to get out; now that the cold weather is here and cases are on the rise we are spending more time at home.  Prior to this, we were a very social couple and spent a lot of time with friends and family and participating in work related activities. 

We live in a small house, so we can’t seem to get away from each other.  I have noticed a change in Ron; he’s become angry and argumentative.  I have tried to be understanding and tolerant, but I am frustrated too with the situation.  We have gotten into some real battles, escalating into violence a couple of times.  I am becoming fearful and try to go along with everything to keep Ron calm.  I feel like I have nowhere to turn, I feel trapped in a situation I don’t want to be in.  I don’t believe Ron would have ever become violent if this virus hadn’t changed our life.  If this goes on for another year or so, I don’t think I can live like this.  I hope you can give me some advice, or point me in the direction where I can get some support or help.  Thanks, Tara.

Hi Tara:

Thank you for your very important letter.  Unfortunately, so many women are experiencing exactly what you are and they are left with few options.  Domestic violence is reaching epidemic proportions in Canada and throughout the world.  While being interviewed by CTV News, Angela MacDougall, executive director of Women’s Support Services (BWSS) stated that she was warned early on by contemporaries in China that a tremendous increase in cases of domestic violent would occur as a side effect of the pandemic.

Since isolation is the means by which the abuser controls their victim, the pandemic has created the perfect storm.  They can carry out their abuse without fear that anyone will see the marks or bruises.  For so many women these are scary times.

Things are being done to assist with this crisis.  The Federal Government is increasing funding to women’s shelters and other services for victims of domestic abuse. Ending Violence Association of Canada provides some avenues that you may be able to turn to for help.  You can access them at this link: . Ultimately if you feel in danger, do not hesitate to call 911.

Sorry I couldn’t be of more help, but this is all the information I was able to find.  Stay safe.

Email your questions to Some submissions may be edited for length or to protect confidentiality; your real name and location will never be printed. This column is for entertainment only. The author is not a professional counsellor and this column is not intended to take the place of professional advice.
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