A Woman’s Guide to Making Ourselves Lovable

I’m pretty sure that the more we focus our thoughts on love, the more lovely we become, and the lovelier others appear in our eyes.  So when another female comes into our vision, fixate on her.  Think to ourselves, “I desire to spend the rest of my life with her.” And then smile and even chitchat with her as if she’s our soulmate.  The love creates an instant bond.

If viewing her as our soulmate seems extreme, then simply send spiritual thoughts, such as, “You are pure love,” “You are a beautiful soul,” and “You are angelic perfection,” repeating each thought over and over, leaving no room for judgment.

Either way, we may notice a skip in her walk or a musical quality to her voice, neither of which may have been present prior.

But don’t do this with males, as it can make us irresistible.

Adore each woman we encounter.  Send her love, even if she hates us, even if she competes with us over our love interests.  Love is an antidote for jealousy, that vile emotion that sparks suffering in ourselves and those around us.

If we’re single, try this with males.  But do it sparingly.  Our charm may make us irresistible to incompatible suitors.

Recognize that every female is beautiful, just as she is.   When we connect with another female, and her eyes light up, we catch a glimpse of her infinite beauty, which all of us possess.  That glimmer in her eyes is her true beauty, not her physical form, not the syrup or gruffness in her voice, not the shape or quality of her face.

When we greet or see either gender, think of them as having a guardian angel, a giant being of light there to love each and every being, never with a moment of judgement.  Try this, whether we believe in angels or not.  Try to see the person like his or her angel would, enraptured with unwavering devotion.

Focus love also on the plants and animals we greet or eat.  When buying a bag of apples, take them out of the suffocating bag, spray them with water, and talk sweetly to them, coddling them, even saying, “I love you.” Then, splash the apples with cold water twice a day.  From my experience, the apples stay fresh and crisp longer when loved.  They, too, like all of us, seem to thrive when loved

We all, for the most part, love cats’ purrs.  So, why not make our voices as becoming as a purr, softening our tones, delighting the world with our sweet demeanors.  And, while we’re at it, why not let our faces exude warmth, our eyes twinkling, our smiles alight? Top this sensory pleasure with postures that are open, agreeable, and loving.  We catch a glimpse of this beauty in others when their eyes register our affection.

When we fill our thoughts with love, we build up self-love.  We also, unwittingly, master business etiquette.  Who doesn’t want to be wined and dined, business lunch or not, by someone bursting with affection?

Best of all, love lights up a dark space.  When we go through the dark night of the soul, as we all eventually do, that love can deepen into empathy, compassion, mercy, and self-growth—instead of sinking into desolation.  It can make us better writers, more thoughtful students, better wives, star employees.  When we fire up our love, it melts away the darkness, slowly but steadily.

Author Lorna Byrne claims to have seen angels all her life.  When someone loves, she sees a misty essence coming from the person, a mist that retracts when an unkind word is spoken.  Imagine if we could keep that mist of love flowing from our hearts, even when we’re criticized, condemned, blamed, or harmed.  Create a steady bliss where the love never retracts, never diminishes.  Never-ending bliss is our calling, even during the dark night of the soul.

And if we don’t get love in return, at least we’ve become love.  We’ve done our best.

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