Dear Barb—A Marriage of COVIDness?

Dear Barb:

This is going to sound like a crazy thing to do in the middle of a pandemic, but my boyfriend and I want to get married.  It’s crazy because we just met when the pandemic started, so we’ve been together ever since.  Obviously, we haven’t been socializing with very many people because we are trying to respect COVID-19 safety measures.  Jason and I get along really well, and so we thought why not take the plunge and get married.

I was all on board initially, but now I am not so sure.  For one thing we would not be able to have a traditional wedding, and I really want my family and friends to be able to see me get married in person, especially my parents.  The other thing I have been thinking about is that maybe we are still together because we were kind of forced into the situation, since we couldn’t go out and meet other people.  I haven’t mentioned my feelings to Jason, and he hasn’t shared anything with me that would make me believe he feels the same way.  We have been living together for the last three months and get along great.  My mom thinks I am out of my mind to even be thinking about doing something like this in the midst of all the uncertainty in the world.  What is your opinion, am I way out there? Looking forward to your response, Alannah.

Hi Alannah:

Getting married in the middle of a pandemic, or at any time actually, requires careful thought.  You can’t just “take the plunge.”  If you are having second thoughts, then it’s probably not the right thing for you to do right now.  I am not saying it is the wrong thing to do, but the stress we are all feeling from this pandemic is having a great impact on society, and some of the choices we are making.  You and Jason should have a discussion about how you are both feeling; he may be having second thoughts as well.  Since things are going well and you said you are living together, then what’s the rush to get married.  Take your time and see how you both feel once life gets back to normal.  We are beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel as far as the pandemic goes.  When this is over you will be able to have the wedding you want with your family and friends around.  For now take this time to get to know each other.  Thanks for your writing Alannah.

Email your questions to Some submissions may be edited for length or to protect confidentiality; your real name and location will never be printed. This column is for entertainment only. The author is not a professional counsellor and this column is not intended to take the place of professional advice.
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