Dear Barb—Life-Long Decisions

Dear Barb:

My boyfriend and I have been dating for four months.  We get along great and have lots of common interests.  I was even thinking he may be the one for me.  All that changed last week when we learned his ex-girlfriend is two months pregnant and he is the father.  I was devastated that he cheated on me.  He said it was a one time thing, that it is over, and I am the one he wants to be with.  I really want to believe that, but that he could do something like that makes me doubt everything that we had together.  Should I give him another chance or am I just fooling myself.  Looking forward to your advice.  Thanks – Paige. 

Hi Paige:

I am so sorry that you are going through this.  It is devastating when someone isn’t the person we thought they were.  It makes us doubt everything about them and our relationship with them.  But people do make mistakes.  This occurred early in your relationship, so maybe at that point your boyfriend wasn’t as seriously involved as you were.  Whether you can move on from this is up to you.

Do you feel you can forgive him?  If you can’t then it’s time to move on as this will constantly come up and erode your relationship.  If you can put this out of your mind and move forward, then the relationship will have a chance.  Also, if you continue with him, you must consider that this child will be a part of your life, thus impacting your relationship.  Ultimately it’s up to you.  Best of luck and thanks for writing Paige.

Dear Barb:

My fourteen-year-old daughter wants to get a tattoo.  I do not want her to get one.  Her best friend recently got one, so I think that’s what has prompted this.  I don’t want her to get something done that she will regret later.  She told me she is going to get one anyway.  Are there age restrictions on how old you have to be to get a tattoo without a parent’s permission? Thanks, Nicole. 

Hi Nicole:

There are definite age restrictions in Canada on the age you can legally get a tattoo, however this varies from province to province. Eighteen is pretty well the acceptable age across the board without parent’s consent.  Since I have a niece who is a tattoo artist, I went directly to her for information on tattooing a 14-year-old.  Her response was “… absolutely not at that age, not even with a parent’s consent for so many reasons.  The youngest I do is 16 with consent, 18 without, that’s the law.”

If your daughter were to find someone to give her a tattoo at her age, I would tend to question whether this shop is following other guidelines for sanitation and safety.  Hope this information was helpful Nicole.

Email your questions to Some submissions may be edited for length or to protect confidentiality; your real name and location will never be printed. This column is for entertainment only. The author is not a professional counsellor and this column is not intended to take the place of professional advice.
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