The Ridiculousness that was Rolling Thunder Ottawa

A sequel is defined as an event that happens after and is the result of an earlier event.  In the world of media, it tends to be a published, broadcast, or recorded piece of work that continues the story or develops the theme of an earlier one.  A sequel is also the best way to explain what transpired with Rolling Thunder Ottawa, following after the Ottawa Trucker Occupation.

I compared the ridiculousness that was the Ottawa Trucker Occupation to a Netflix comedy special.  So, when I heard that there was a convoy of motorcycle enthusiasts who were organizing a trip to Ottawa under the name “Rolling Thunder Ottawa”, I expected weather warnings as the first week of May came around.  Despite the fact that sequels rarely live up to their original pieces, Rolling Thunder Ottawa did not disappoint.

The Forecast Is In

As an avid weather channel enthusiast, I have come to understand that lightning precedes thunder because the speed of light is much faster than the speed of sound.  The scary thing about thunder is the noise it creates, but lightning strikes can generate heat five times hotter than the sun’s surface.  The only thing scary about Rolling Thunder Ottawa was the bikers that had a stocky build with long beards and black vests.

From the start, the organizers of Rolling Thunder Ottawa wanted a variety of causes to come under their umbrella.  Their recruitment strategy was textbook Rihanna.  “When the sun shine, we shine together.  Told you I’ll always be your friend.  Took an oath, I’ma stick it out to the end.  Now that it’s raining more than ever, know that we’ll still have each other.  You can stand under my umbrella.  You can stand under my umbrella.  Ella, ella, eh, eh, eh.

Once the weather-themed movement was successful in bringing a variety of causes under their umbrella, they decided to top it off by having a guest speaker whose name was Sky.  What a magnificent way of paying tribute to the earth.

Who cares if all those motorcycles that would converge upon Ottawa from across all of Canada would contribute unnecessary pollution? What matters is that their intentions were pure.  I am convinced that they cared about the environment otherwise they would have never named themselves after a weather event.  This was them telling us that they supported the fight against climate change even though they were contributing with unnecessary pollution.

The recruitment strategy at Rolling Thunder Ottawa should be featured in a case study because of the key personalities they were able to bring together.  It contributed to the excitement that was seen amongst members.  During the main march, while members were marching shoulder-to-shoulder, “USA! USA!” chants erupted.  For the sake of health and safety, I hope that nobody was COVID-19 positive.  But are people who do not believe in COVID-19 susceptible to catching it?

Employee of the Year

There were a few key personalities who are in the running for employee of the year.  They include the “Mr.  Bubbles”, “Miss Thunder Twerker”, and “Mr.  Thong”.

Mr. Bubbles is a devout believer of the Church of Bubbles and he was anointed and appointed by the heavenly winds that carry bubbles across the land.  For all we know, there may have been other disciples, but their bubbles have burst and Mr. Bubbles is all that remains.  If Rolling Thunder Ottawa does not award Mr. Bubbles with the employee of the year award, it really may burst his bubble given that his bus was ticketed and towed by Ottawa Police Service.

Miss Thunder Twerker is known for violating the personal space of police officers while supporting causes that are important to her.  At the Rolling Thunder Ottawa event, Miss Thunder Twerker reversed herself into a police officer, who may have been a married man, and when he rejected her sultry advances, she pounced on him in the heat of the moment.

Nobody really knows why Miss Thunder Twerker acted the way she did, but some witnesses have reported hearing Missy Elliot’s Work It song being played at the moment the incident transpired.  The only question I have for Miss Thunder Twerker is whether it was worth it, the way she worked and put her thing down, flipped it and reversed it into the police officer?

Mr. Thong is the dark horse to win the employee of the year.  He decided to show up in a skinny speedo.  His explanation was that inflation made everything much more expensive, but I am starting to think that his true reason for showing up to Rolling Thunder Ottawa was to court Miss Thunder Twerker with a peacock-esque dance to the Black Eyed Peas’ My Humps song.

If it was up to me, I would award Mr. Bubbles with the employee of the year award.  He had his bubble bus towed away and if we combine that with his U-shaped hairline, he has lost enough – just give him the award.

I also have a happy ending for Miss Thunder Twerker and Mr.  Thong – an arranged marriage.  The divorce rate in Canada is about 40%, but I have experience with marrying people and if I organized a wedding singalong to Daisy Bell (A Bicycle for Two), there is no way that marriage falls apart.

Supporting Social Causes

The Rolling Thunder Ottawa movement has been described by some as a disguise for far-right ideology.  However, the Ottawa Police Services’ twitter account has labelled these individuals as “freedom supporters”.  There must have been some compellingly positive intelligence that policing agencies were able to gather on Rolling Thunder Ottawa that the deputy police chief needed to remind officers not to participate at this event.  Why else would police officers want to align themselves with the movement?

It can also be argued that this particular group of “freedom supporters” wanted to advocate better relations between Canada and the USA.  There were American flags alongside Canadian flags, Trump hats, that added to the chants of “USA! USA!”.  Somebody needs to remind the US Embassy in Ottawa about how pro-USA Canada is.  We also need to make sure that all those who participated in the Rolling Thunder Ottawa event are legally permitted to be in Canada.

The Storm Has Passed

Unlike the Ottawa Trucker Occupation whose members overstayed their welcome, the Rolling Thunder Ottawa movement only stayed for the weekend.  They may have arrived in Ottawa, but I would not know seeing how quiet Ottawa was on Monday.  It may have had something to do with Thor, son of Odin, not showing up after some supporters were blowing into horns while facing the heavens.  Although there may have been a lot of thunder over the weekend, at the end of the day it was just a bunch of empty noise.  Let us hope that we have better weather over the summer.

On a more serious note…

The more I learn about the science of people, the more I realize how important it is to understand a person’s origin story before slapping labels onto them.  Some labels might come about naturally as a result of a person’s negative actions towards others, but even in those occasions we are often left wondering why they acted the way they did.

My belief is that we are all born inherently good but somewhere along the way some people deviate away from that goodness.  That shift can almost always be attributed to a troubled childhood and a hard life.  That does not justify a person’s actions when they are out of line, but it does help us understand why they are the way they are.

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