I am becoming a certified relationship coach through The Marriage Foundation.  Just yesterday, I was re-listening to their course on dating.  It’s very unconventional as it’s spiritual—which is why it works, in my view.

In the video lesson was instructor Paul Friedman, a Jewish man inspired by how some people in concentration camps could be happy.  These people had learned to train their mind to be joyful while under extreme duress.  Friedman’s marriage philosophy, similarly, is centered on being happy and unconditionally loving, regardless of outer circumstances.  Friedman was also a divorce mediator.  However, he changed his practice—and his karma—to save marriages through spiritual principles that apparently work.

In his dating course, he said that through multiple incarnations we have deeply loved countless numbers of others.  They are all, in essence, our soulmates.  We may encounter these soulmates in this lifetime.  Still, those persons, through various incarnations, may have regressed spiritually.  Thus, although we may burst with love on their reappearance, they may no longer be suitable partners for us.  Other circumstances affect which “”soulmate”” we should bond with as our life partner.  Paul Friedman advises to make a checklist so that we choose the soulmate who’ll manifest the greatest happiness and joy.

But the crux is that our true soulmate is the person we are with, either in marriage, a long-term relationship, or a union due to having a child.  Our soul purpose with this soulmate is for us to learn how to love selflessly and unconditionally.  And we must build on that love, so it grows euphorically higher every passing day.

But what about the countless other soulmates we encounter?  What about them?  Suppose we are operating on wise spiritual principles with our partner, giving nothing but unconditional love.  In that case, we will hardly notice these other soulmates.  But we may encounter them, and we will inevitably feel love for them.  So, the best wisdom I’ve gleaned from the training is to love these other soulmates, pray for them, but avoid them.

But why love them?  The course suggests that we are meant to grow in love for all living beings.  Isn’t that the purpose of life?  To love?  And if the purpose of life is to love, it makes sense that feeling unconditional love for all living beings is the ultimate end goal.

My favorite expression is, “No matter life’s circumstances, love all others, and your purpose will be realized.” That means loving everyone, including your enemies and most especially your true soulmate.

To love everyone takes great wisdom.  But wisdom is not necessary to truly love your soulmate.  Friedman says that whatever insight you have is enough to take your relationship to the pinnacle of love.  But you should follow the principles taught in his course if you want to demonstrate true unconditional love, in my view.  These principles include never complaining, never criticizing, and never condemning.  Instead, they entail expressing only unconditional love.

Your expression of unconditional love undoubtedly yields happiness and joy.  To illustrate, you can’t feel incredible love and overwhelming hate simultaneously.  So, choose that euphoric state by showering unconditional love—with no expectations– on your soulmate.  And then work on pouring unconditional love on all living entities.  After all, you were born to love!