As you may already know, I have a newly formed shopaholic addiction that is snowballing out of control. And I think I’ve finally found a solution to ban it for good. You might also find the strategy effective in eliminating any troubling trait, addiction, or habit you may wish to overcome. So, here it is:
“Do the extreme opposite.”
This is a strategy I picked up from The Marriage Foundation. This article will explain how I aim to operationalize it. But first, as background, here’s how my online shopping addiction formed.
For nearly a decade now, I desperately needed clothing. For example, I recently wore pink pants with tattered knees almost daily, and I wouldn’t have survived an office dress code for more than three days, as I’d run out of things to wear. In short, I looked scruffy. However, I took three fashion courses on Udemy to significant effect. As a result, I can now pick out an outfit online that will look surprisingly good on me.
But I started clocking out of work to look at online clothing retailers whose ads began appearing on my every web browser. I’d also clock out of work to look at emails from online retailers. Each look at the online retailers would take at least a quarter of an hour. Then, I’d order several items with my paycheck.
But the worst part was the fixation on when the clothing would arrive. I’d go to the mail multiple times in one hour. I’d check the online retailer many times daily to see if the item had been delivered. And if a batch of items was delivered but one was missing, I’d phone the retailer four times, wasting an hour, until I got through to someone (ahem, Melanie Lyne). And during those calls, my happy disposition would threaten to sour, and I’d fight off feelings of impatience. It was like playing the lotto but with lots at stake. And that was all in one day.
Worse still, I started to bridge into vanity. For example, I planned on buying expensive shampoos and conditioners. As well, I started searching YouTube for hairstyles. Instead of spending time learning software or developing skills, I was now online shopping.
In at least one of the courses I’ve been taking, it’s advised to do the extreme opposite of a habit to break it. As a result, I’ve come up with a solution. Instead of lavishing myself with clothing items, I’ll lavish the people in my life with gifts.
I want to leave this world selfless. After all. the essence of unconditional love is selflessness, and the opposite of ego is selflessness. I believe that should be the goal of all living beings—to unconditionally love through selflessness.
I will, however, spend time and resources on developing skills, as I believe learning is essential to a good life. Many accounts of near-death experiences confirm this view.
With that said, whatever troubling habit, addiction, or trait vexes us, try doing the extreme opposite. However, if it doesn’t break the habit, go even more extreme. But ensure that the extreme opposite is founded on beautiful traits such as love, selflessness, or kindness. After all, I believe we are meant to become the perfect versions of ourselves.