Is rapport any good? It’s more than reasonable! It’s blissful when done right. We can walk into any storefront, greet the cashiers, smile, say it’s nice to see them, and ask how their day is. And do they ever love it! We can thank them for their service, compliment their strengths, and encourage their dreams. And it’s so much fun! By doing these acts, we make instant friends everywhere.
Four-months at the swimming pool, I made more friends than during my eight years at the university. And I can now walk into a store and befriend the entire staff. But it’s a different talent when the store owners give us free items and incredible discounts. Someone I love has this gift. And he’s been teaching me the art of friendliness. Plus, my sales training is showing me how to gain rapport with customers, so I have some insights to share.
But why is friendliness important? I believe our purpose in life is to love all others unconditionally. And when we are friendly to others, we feel bliss, and they feel pleasure. It’s like an explosion of love that goes on for all eternity—and grows bigger and more dynamic with each soul it touches along the network.
But is rapport a skill or innate? Rapport can be learned and mastered by anyone. All it takes is a spark of love. So, here’s how to do rapport building and demonstrate friendliness:
Use warm greetings and politeness. Politeness means using “please” and “thank you” often while not interrupting the other person’s conversation. It also means not criticizing the other person but appreciating the uniqueness and free will of everyone. As for warm greetings, “How is your day?” or “It’s so nice to see you,” or “It’s a pleasure to speak with you,” or “It’s lovely to see you” go a long way toward building bonds. These are vital non-negotiables to add to conversations with strangers, merchants, and friends—if unified love is the goal.
Smile. Smiling at others releases endorphins. And people often mirror our body language, so that means we create a double whammy of endorphins. In other words, that dopamine rush boosts both parties’ happiness. What better way to make an immediate bond of love? And that smile goes on for all eternity in ways we may never fully grasp.
Learn about the other person’s interests, hopes, and dreams. Ask questions to know better what the person enjoys, such as hobbies, sports, or talents. It’s best to ask questions as well as talk, finding a friendly, positive, loving balance. But don’t ask questions that get too personal unless your social skills are through the roof and people tend to be receptive. I know someone with incredible social skills, and everywhere he goes turns into a social club where everyone gets along—and he is the focal point.
Find points of commonality. To establish commonality, we can tell the other person about our favorite hobbies and inquire about theirs. Who doesn’t love to know the pursuits of others? And it’s summertime soon, so why not ask others, “Do you have any plans for the summer holidays?” It creates instant rapport. Or if we’re bookworms, ask, “Do you like to read?” and “What is your favorite book?” Whatever we like, they might like, too. And whatever we experience, they may, too. That’s commonality.
Use positivity and uplifting words. Seek out only the positives about other people—and ignore all the flaws. And compliment other people. Everyone is beyond valuable. We all are incredibly meaningful to this world—no exceptions. We all play essential roles. And we need to be nice to all others. So, when we reply to others’ questions or comments, we must word things positively, appreciating the other person’s unique perspectives, even if we don’t, on the surface, agree. It’s that unique perspective that makes every single person fascinating—like eight billion rare diamonds, each with one-of-a-kind crystalized structures.
In sum, friendliness and generosity of spirit go far in building rapport. But we may be shy, introverted, and apprehensive about trying these tips on others. If so, I found a course I will enroll in three days from today. It’s a course by SocialSelf, costing around $350 US. It’s called “Conversation skills for overthinkers” and is intended for people with social anxiety as a key target market. For some reason, these types of courses often appear in my search feeds, and in the recent past, I wondered if I have social anxiety. But now I’m trying it out and will let you know if it was worth it.
So, is friendliness a virtue? Yes, because, as Buddhists believe, every soul was once our mother. And we can take that further and say every soul was once our soulmate. In other words, we are meant to love all others. And friendliness is one of the purest foundations for us to love everyone.
