Dear Barb—Adult Activities

Dear Barb:

My boyfriend and I have been together for three years and moved in together one year ago.  We get along well for the most part.  We spend a lot of time together, in fact, that’s why I am writing.  We both work from home and basically do everything together.  We have some friends but don’t do much with them.  We would rather stay home together or go out together.  I am beginning to wonder if that is healthy.  My mom keeps telling me I should go out with friends, or at least join some activities on my own.  Sometimes I wonder if my mom is right and if we should be doing things separately.  What do you think? Are we in an unhealthy relationship? Thanks, Bonita. 

Hi Bonita:

According to a quote by actress, comedian, and writer Mae West “Too much of a good thing can be wonderful.” However, writer and novelist Ray Bradbury has a different take as he claims, “Too much of anything isn’t good for anyone.” I think it is a personal choice between both people.  If you are spending time in the same location, but each doing your own thing, I would not consider this as spending too much time together.  Behaviors that could indicate an unhealthy relationship include spending so much time together that you lose track of friends and hobbies.  Also, spending so much time together that you cannot stand losing touch with the person, even for a few hours while they are at work, is not healthy.  Feeling this way will cause you to not be able to be alone doing things you want.  It is a balancing act and two people must find their comfort zone.  It is not a black-and-white issue.  Hope this information was helpful.  Thanks for your email.

Dear Barb:

I read your column regularly and I have a quick question.  I am planning to have a dinner party at my home, and I do not want children included.  Some of my friends have teenagers that they would like to bring along.  They feel teenagers are not the same as children.  I feel teenagers would change the whole dynamic of the evening.  What is your opinion? Thanks, Robin. 

Hi Robin:

Great question.  I do not consider teenagers to be adults.  If you are clear in your invitation that it is an adult dinner party, then children or teenagers should not be included.  I agree with you that teenagers would change the nature of the conversations.  I wouldn’t think very many teenagers would be interested in attending an adult dinner party anyway.

Email your questions to Some submissions may be edited for length or to protect confidentiality; your real name and location will never be printed. This column is for entertainment only. The author is not a professional counsellor and this column is not intended to take the place of professional advice.
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