Okay, so in my last work, I wrote of the cross and the resurrection with the word “symbols”. I’m probably overthinking, as usual, but I’m kicking myself in the butt.
No, I am not scared I will be excommunicated.
I’m kicking myself in the butt because to say symbol does not respect that I see this as a truth. I think I am kicking myself in the butt because I’m still choosing my words carefully in our politically correct society. While I am conscious of the fact that The Voice Magazine is not a Christian publication, I just wish I could let myself submit with the self-confidence that some of my colleagues have to state their views without fear of contradiction or offence.
I’ve spent years crafting my words with diplomacy, nothing to be ashamed of in the least. I mean it’s been very helpful with advocacy endeavours. At the same time, sometimes it feels like I don’t know my own perspective. Simply, I feel like my last piece of work I still put a muzzle on me to make sure I “stay in line”, whatever that means.
In wanting not to play the victim by using my gender as a woman, or the honeymoon handicap perspective, in which individual or group history is used to justify pitfalls in character, let me just say that I wasn’t paying attention when I used that word. That sentence should be “the living reality of the cross and resurrection… saves my life every day”. And while I hope this will be inspiring for some people in living what works for them, I am cognizant this might not sit well with people given the history of domination in violence that the church has committed over the centuries. As a Christian I apologize for that ancestry now.
The thing I do not apologize for is saying that my faith in the risen Christ is what keeps my wheelchair from limiting me mentally. I guess why I am so passionate about this is because, when I was seventeen, I almost died from depression. There was no hospital visit or anything like that, but things got scary for a while. In contrast, because of my faith I am choosing to do projects on disability history and eugenics, so I can maybe create a course some day at the university.
This same viewpoint, that was crucifying me a decade ago and seemed like hell, has become fire for my motivation—bringing new life. So the cross and resurrection can be very real indeed.
Thanks be to God, amen. I have been crucified with Christ and I know longer live but it is Christ himself who lives in me. (Gal 2:20)
